But why is making a woman cum so high on our to-do lists when we’re in the sack and, once you know it’s something you’d like to be able to do, how do you give a woman an orgasm each and every time? Is there a special technique, a magic touch, or is it in the lap of the Gods whether or not she makes that elusive “O” face (and actually means it!)

Before we get into the techniques, the science behind female sexual gratification, let’s first have a quick look at the subject of orgasms as a whole.

The Male Orgasm

The male climax, which combines ejaculation with an orgasm is, unless a guy has something pretty seriously wrong with him, a foregone conclusion in sex. We guys know that when we cum it’s usually end game for us, so we tend to use our orgasms as a marker.

The amount of time that elapses between first insertion to final climax constitutes our sexual performance, good or bad. Whether we last as long as we’d like, or do all the things we’d love to do, we’re always guaranteed that predictable pay-off at the end of it all.

The Female Orgasm

Women, on the other hand, and somewhat unsurprisingly, are totally different. Whether they achieve an orgasm is entirely dependent on a host of requirements, including but not limited to: the guy’s sexual ability, the female’s knowledge of how her body works, and her mood at the time of sex.

Then there’s the added headache (for us!) of women faking orgasms just to please us and keep our egos in check. All combined, giving a girl an orgasm, and realizing that we have,is usually a tricky business for most guys.

But there ARE things you can do to ensure you stand the absolute best chance of bringing your partner or partners to the highest possible point of sexual pleasure.

These are concepts most men never hear of or, if they do, never try because, to be honest, if they did give them a whirl, the female orgasm really wouldn’t be such an elusive, unattainable thing. Here they are: the techniques and strategies you should use to give a woman an orgasm…every time.

1. Proper Build-Up

Sexual satisfaction and stimulation happens in two different ways: in the mind, and in the body. Many men forget about this balance of the mental and physical, and rush into penetrative sex too quickly, with too much pace.

Instead you need to start slow and gradually intensify the attention you give the girl and the actions you perform. So, begin intercourse with slow strokes that vary in depth and angle. Doing this does two things.

First, it warms the woman up physically and allows her body to fully accept and accommodate you. Second, it gives you a vital opportunity to watch for what type of stroke speed, depth and angle stimulates the girl the most and pleasures her to the highest degree. Listen to her moans, watch her eyes and try to sense her excitement levels as you vary your technique.

2. Display Your Focus

Don’t be afraid to make it obvious that your main goal is pleasuring her as much as you possibly can. Many men feel as if it makes them seem soppy or subordinate to display a desire to only pleasure the female and forget about themselves, but this is a mistake.

When you show how much you care about showing her a good time, you achieve three things. First, you turn her on emotionally and mentally (which, as I just mentioned, is vital).

Second, you open up healthy communication between the two of you. She can verbally tell you what feels the best and where you should focus.

The third reason is the simplest of all: the more you focus your attention on something, the more likely you are to achieve your goal.

3. Double Stimulation

Most women achieve their orgasms from external, clitoral stimulation and not penetrative, vaginal sex. So, focus plenty of attention on pleasuring her with your fingers or orally AND giving her external gratification (such as rubbing her clit lightly in a circular motion with the tips of your index, middle and ring fingers) while partaking in actual intercourse.

This more than doubles the chance of reaching orgasm.

Summing it Up

It’s important we sum up what we’ve just been over. Doing so locks the information in your head and makes it easy for you to use it next time you ‘get it on’.

First, take it slow and watch for her reactions. When you see her react strongly and positively, remember what action or stroke type or sex position you used.

SHOW HER you care about making her feel good. Not only does it make her feel turned on but also automatically more willing and eager to return the favour…in spades!

Lastly, vary the action. Mix up intercourse with external stimulation to really boost her pleasure. If you do everything you’ve read here, you’re guaranteed to improve your sex life and the number of orgasms your girl has in it. So give it a go!

Take an athlete for example, regardless of their chosen discipline, they must WORK at becoming the best. Even if they got lucky with their genes, have a good build or quick reactions, it is absolutely vital they learn, understand and PRACTICE whatever sport it is they want to master.

If they don’t, they will never be number one, or even anywhere close. The very same principle applies to attracting and seducing women, quite simply, the looks or assets you were or weren’t blessed with naturally mean nothing if you cannot master the psychological side of the game.

It’s NOT About Looks

For example, there’s a guy who looks like Brad Pitt’s better looking long-lost brother, his body, hair and dress-sense are all flawless. But, when he opens his mouth…nothing.

His attitude, personality and character fall completely flat and instantly put off every woman in the room. He’s gone from being a mysterious, handsome stranger, to an unexciting and tedious guy, who’s good for nothing except looking at and admiring, which gets very boring, very fast.

Now, the reverse. There’s a guy who doesn’t immediately stand out of the crowd because of what he looks or dresses like or because of the car he’s just rolled up in. Women are fairly neutral towards him, they neither feel attracted to him or turned off. Then, he talks and it’s like a fire has been lit, he’s fun, charming and great to be around.  In short, massively attractive.

Being the Better Guy

If you want to be that first guy, I don’t know what to suggest, except perhaps painful, expensive surgery. But if you’d rather resemble the second man (as any sane guy would), you need to do something a little different. You need to eradicate self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are the internal thoughts and feelings that hold you back and restrict your ability to succeed. They’re irrational and counter-productive thoughts that everyone has, but very few people try to get rid of, which is why so few men are truly successful with women. Here are a couple of examples of self-limiting beliefs:

1. “Nah, she’s too good-looking. She wouldn’t be interested in a guy like me.”

2. “Women can sense inexperience and won’t give a guy the time of day if they think he’s not sophisticated or experienced.”

3. “Girls only want sex with strings attached and would never consider sleeping with me unless I have money or a powerful job.”

4. “That girl’s way too popular. Just look at the guys who are already all over her. She’s rejecting them so would definitely say no to me.”

The Truth About Self-Limiting Beliefs

The crazy thing with self-limiting beliefs is that they only restrict YOU and you alone. They do this because they are not logical, true facts that are widely accepted as fundamental truths.

They’re manifested in your mind because you feel nervous and apprehensive. It’s your body’s way of protecting itself just like it would have thousands of years ago to stop you getting into physical danger.

These days, the only danger is that you miss a golden opportunity to hook up with a great, sexy girl.  Here are 3 simple rules to always remember, use them to get rid of self-limiting beliefs.

Rule 1. Ground yourself in the present and don’t think about the past or potential future

If you’re in a bar looking at a girl from afar, forget about times gone by that you cocked up a first impression. Furthermore, don’t try to predict what could go wrong or awry. Your goal, of meeting and getting together with a hot female, is a positive one – so keep all thoughts before, during and after meeting her positive, too.

Rule 2. Don’t let other people mold your perception of yourself and the situation you’re in

Forget about the guys around you, all trying to impress girls and assert themselves as alpha males. When you show a care-free, easy-going attitude to how to move, talk and behave you become infinitely more attractive to women than all the men who are blatantly trying too hard.

Rule 3. Let negative thoughts and phrases, like those above, slip completely from your consciousness

Looks, wealth and social status mean little when they aren’t accompanied by a strong, attractive persona and personality. Let your words and confident body language take precedence and forget all about superficial possessions and all-too-common “good looks.”

There are two main reasons for this: they don’t get out there and sell themselves, meet women and make connections. And when, once in every blue moon, they do try it on with a girl, they fall flat on their faces, not knowing how to handle the situation, the conversation, the interaction and attraction.

There’s a single word that ties these two reasons for failure together, it’s rejection.

Men who would love to meet and date a beautiful girl or two choose not to go out and actually try to make it happen, on the most part, because of a deep-seated fear of rejection.

They hate the idea that they might get shot down and embarrassed. And they know that if they try their hardest and STILL get rejected, they definitely have no hope with women, now or ever.

So, they prefer to stay at home with the vague ambition that one day they might make something happen. On the other hand, there are men out there that do try to meet and get together with girls and, unfortunately, they get rejected every now and then.

Once it’s happened a couple of times, those brush-offs take their toll on the guy: his confidence dwindles, his sense of humor begins to fade, and most noticeably, his motivation vanishes.

He becomes like 80% of the rest of the male population: a dreamer and not a do’er.

Recognize the Positive

The first thing you need to do is recognize the POSITIVE function rejection serves. You need to define it in your mind. What is it and what does it mean? Rejection often comes in the following forms:

1. You’ve been talking to a girl for a while and things seem to be going well but when you ask to see her again or suggest swapping numbers she suddenly freezes up on you and shuts you out.

2. You try to get talking to a girl but she only gives you the minimal amount of recognition possible and doesn’t allow you to start a real conversation.

3. You’ve been on a couple of dates with a girl but have yet to take it further. When you try to progress the relationship, she clams up and becomes distant and seemingly uninterested.

Whatever type of rejection you’ve experience or fear the most, you need to fully recognize what it is. It’s a sign that one or more components of your game, that is, your ability to be successful with women, isn’t functioning correctly.

It’s like a flashing red light in a submarine, it’s telling you something ain’t right and, most importantly, that you need to DO something to fix it. That’s the key point most men consistently miss.

Rejection Is Not Necessarily a Bad Thing

They think being rejected is the end of the line, game over. In fact, it’s simply a changing of the tracks on your path to success. Consider the following important points whenever you feel rejection negatively controlling your ability to do well with the opposite sex:

1. If a girl rejects your advances when you introduce yourself or try to start a conversation, it means she has decided that, for whatever reason, you aren’t someone she wants to get to know. However, remember this absolutely critical fact: she’s made her decision based on how you presented yourself in the short amount of time she knew/knows you.

Rethinking how you act, speak and behave can produce a reaction that falls at the complete opposite end of the scale from rejection and failure: one of success and triumph.

Don’t let a single brush-off impact your motivation or confidence, simply see it as a sign that you need to alter and rethink your strategy.

2. Never take things personally when you’re playing the seduction game. Although a girl might not be interested in you, it doesn’t mean she’s necessarily right to feel that way or correct in the assumption she’s made of you.

People make snap decisions and have knee-jerk reactions to people, places and situations every day, in the positive AND negative. Your goal is to make a good first impression and exude a strong sense of confidence and relaxation.

Once you do that, your bad luck seems to magically disappear and a new long-term streak of good fortune begins. (Which is actually thanks to the fact that you didn’t let rejection get you down and instead used it as a sign that you needed to change something.)

The Hypnotic Effect At Work

If you can remember the concepts above and use them when ‘out in the field’, you’ll notice an almost hypnotic effect most men out there would kill to have themselves.

Because, you see, it’s when you yourself can brush-off the brush-offs that real success happens and also what leads to you meeting and getting to know the girl of your dreams.

But no one’s sex life is perfect. Things slow down, the energy seems to disappear, it’s not as fun or exciting as either of you would like, in short, it needs improving.

So what can you do to get back (or even create for the first time) that special spark that makes great sex so…well, great? Here are 4 top tips.

1. Play Games

The thing that often grinds sex lives to a halt and makes lovemaking become so much of a hassle is the pressure and responsibility that surrounds the whole subject.

For the man, there’s the burden of having to make the girl reach her own climax. For the woman, there’s the strain of making sure her man is sexually satisfied and not bored and liable to go looking elsewhere for sex or questioning the stability and longevity of the relationship they’re both in.

To counteract these negative pressures, try making having sex a less traditional, scheduled, boring task. Instead, pick a couple of fun games that you can play together that are fun and flirty and that can lead casually and smoothly into the actual sex.

Twister, strip poker and spin-the-bottle are all great games that incorporate physical contact and allow both you and your partner to have a little no-hassle, no-responsibility fun that does or doesn’t have to lead to a bout of impromptu lovemaking.

2. New Locations, New Positions

People often have a very 2-dimensional outlook on the nature of sex and how one should go about having it. The vast, vast majority of people, for example, only have sex in the bedroom.

And even they have a set routine, lights dimmed or off, the same progression through the various stages of sex: a little foreplay, intercourse in missionary and maybe doggy if the guy’s lucky and the girls feeling up to it, then it’s pretty much over. Even if your personal situation has more life than that, sex in the bedroom can still become a drag after a while.

So, switch it up. Think about different locations you can use: the living room, bathroom, kitchen…consider all possibilities, even if they at first seem far-fetched and silly. Also, think about locations away from the home once in a while.

Motels and cheap hotels offer a couple a fresh place to explore each other. Secondly, improvise and experiment with the positions you use. Missionary, girl on top, spoons, and doggy are all great, but always try to mix in a few more unusual, adventurous ones to spice things up.

Even if you find yourself in a tangle with your partner, you’ve still had fun and been spontaneous, which is a key component of any great sex life.

3. Communicate Fantasies

Something few men and women do is talk to their partners about what turns them on, about things they’d like to try, scenarios they’d love to act out, etc. etc. Make telling your partner about things that turn you on a regular thing and, in return, you listen to their previously private fantasies and day-dreams.

If doing it face-to-face is too embarrassing, consider sending saucy messages via email or text message. You’ll find that after reading about what really gets your partner going, you’ll be much more excited and motivated to please them sexually, and they’ll feel the same way back!

4.  Special Occasions

When you do the same thing many times, even if it started out feeling new and exciting, it can get a little run-of-the-mill and boring. So, to inject a real sense of passion and renewed excitement into your sex life, make certain evenings special nights in (or out, then in!).

Go the whole way to making it feel almost like a celebration and do whatever’s necessary to separate it from your usual lovemaking sessions. Popular favourites include getting dressed up separately from your partner, perhaps at a friend’s house, then meeting them in a restaurant for a meal.

Then, on returning home, you can indulge each other with a slow and sensual massage or perhaps carry out one or more of the fantasies you’ve been hinting to each other about. From there, sex can begin. Maybe on the floor of the living room or even on the stairs.

Remember, impulsiveness and adventurousness are a turn on, use them to kick-start your sex life!

The female orgasm has always been shrouded in mystery for men (and many women!). Unlike a guy’s guaranteed sexual pay-off, a female orgasm is never a certainty; for it to occur at all requires a whole host of special requirements to be met.

Things like the male’s sexual technique, the woman’s knowledge of how her body works and responds to different things, and the female’s mood at the time of sex all play a part in either preventing or allowing an orgasm to take place.

So let’s tackle the first issue: what signs should you look for to tell if a girl’s putting it on in the sack and not really reaching her ultimate climax?

1st Signal That She May Be Faking Her Orgasms

BLOOD FLOW SIGNALS. When a woman is sexually aroused, the blood flow to specific parts of her body change. These changes are most notable (and useful to us guys!) when a woman climaxes by reaching an orgasm. Here are the Blood Flow Signals you should watch out for:

A. Watch her cheeks as you have sex and take note of how red or blushed they are. When a girl climaxes, the blood flow to her face typically increases, you’ll often notice her cheeks suddenly become more pink and flushed.

B. Another part of the body that receives an increased flow of blood when a woman reaches orgasm is the nipples – again, try to watch out for how they change as you have sex and especially when she appears to be having an orgasm. If she IS truly cumming, her nipples may very well become harder and more “erect”.

C. Her chest is another GREAT place to notice the after-effects of an orgasm. A massive percentage of women, right after they climax, have a red flush on their chests that almost looks like a light rash. If your girl has this, it’s a strong sign she’s just achieved the magic “O.”

D. Lastly, her vagina’s lips (labia). Look for a slight swelling and reddening as another indication that she’s not play-acting her ultimate pleasure.

2nd Signal That She May Be Faking Her Orgasms

The above blood flow signals are usually noticed just after a woman’s climaxed. This sign is noticeable only when she’s actually experiencing an orgasm. Try to feel or sense tiny contractions in her vagina. These twitches often happen as a natural result of what a woman is psychically going through and feeling and serve as a really good, accurate indicator of whether or not she’s actually cumming.

3rd Signal That She May Be Faking Her Orgasms

When they reach orgasm, most women sort of zone out for a moment and then, over the 15-20 seconds that follow their climax, slowly come “back around.” Look for this zoning out effect by watching her eyes after she supposedly cums. Do they look sort of glazed or glassy, even for just a few seconds?

The good thing about this sign is that women rarely ever try to or even know how to fake it, so when you DO notice it, it actually tends to mean something significant (and positive!).

4th Signal That She May Be Faking Her Orgasms

Lastly, consider the way she acts and behaves. When she ‘climaxes’, is it usually from the same kind of stimulation. For example, does she tend to cum most of the time from oral sex or penetrative sex? Is it usually towards the end of your lovemaking or does it seem to happen randomly.

If her orgasms ARE wild and inconsistent and brought about seemingly by completely different kinds of stimulus, there may be something…amiss. Also, does she talk about having an orgasm a lot? Say, after you finish sex, does she often confirm, even without you asking, that she had a great time and came lots? A lot of women do this when they think the man hasn’t believed their orgasmic reactions, so consider what she says and the way she says it carefully.

Overall, your goal is never to be a private investigator in bed. You simply want to know if she’s being satisfied or not, right? To help you ascertain whether or not you’re regularly bringing her to orgasm, look for the 4 signs and signals you’ve just read.

If you DO think she’s faking it, I recommend first talking to her about it. But then, as the real answer to the problem, you should pick up your game and learn exactly how to physically satisfy her, or for that matter, any woman. There are dozens of techniques and strategies for doing this, all ready to be learned and applied to your sex life…so don’t wait any longer to revolutionize your performance and ability in bed.

Take, for example, visualization techniques.

Visualization techniques are most commonly associated with people who are striving to achieve success in areas of physical excellence: athletes, body builders, endurance specialists, explorers and martial artists all employ the power of visualization to help them achieve their goals. But what is it exactly?

A common misconception is that visualization is the act of imagining something to help yourself achieve an end goal. This explanation, although not a million miles away from the truth, doesn’t accurately represent the true concept of visualization. Visualization involves truly envisioning two things in your head, with as much clarity and detail as possible. First is the act itself.

For example, leaping from the starting blocks at the crack of the gun, your muscles tightening, your body springing into action, each stride long and powerful driving you forward with super speed and swiftness. Second is the outcome: such as the winning of the race.

You picture yourself being the first to cross that white line, decelerating to the sound of a roaring crowd. Flash bulbs explode and while your chest heaves for air, you smile in the comfort of knowing you succeeded and came first. 

The result of visualizing both of these concepts is a powerful one. Your mind and body become more prepared and more capable because you’ve already practiced and gone through the motions of what is to come. Your attitude is more positive and productive and you gain the edge you need to truly succeed.

Visualization can be used in a variety of fields to help you succeed, even in attracting and seducing women. The same principle above applies, you must truly act out in your mind both  the act of meeting a girl and the outcome of whatever it is you’re looking for (be it sex, a relationship, or whatever.) Here’s a few pointers to help you do this:

1. Visualize Every Detail

Make a real effort to visualize each and every detail of what you want to happen during the act of meeting and talking to a woman. See yourself smiling and saying hi to a girl in a bookstore and her replying with a shy smile and glint in her eye.

Picture laughing and joking and being flirtatious. Even envisage small details, like you both taking a sip of your drink at the same time. Each and every visualized moment prepares your conscious and subliminal mind for actual real-life encounters. The more you visualize and the greater detail in which you do it, the more capable and prepared you become.

2. See The Ending Too

Once you’ve visualized the act of meeting and conversing with a girl, foresee leaving the bookstore or bar and going back to your/her place. Whatever outcome is preferable to you, picture it. See the colors, hear the sounds, feel the textures and smell the aromas.

3. Use Visualization Everywhere

Use visualization when you’re at home AND when you’re out looking for girls that catch your attention. Doing both ensures your mind is programmed in the most prepared, positive state possible: nerves disappear and confidence grows.

For more great visualization and confidence techniques, check out HypnoDate – a revolutionary manual that teaches men how to use special hypnotic principles to become masters of attraction and seduction, without the need for good looks, money or a flashy car. Check it out now at the HypnoDate website.