Can A Break Up Actually Be A Good Thing?

For most people, a break up or divorce is the most excruciating experience they have had in their lives. It is like losing a part of yourself, a part which is vital for your very survival.

What if I tell you that your break up can actually be a good thing?

What if I tell you that it is an opportunity to find your real self and evaluate your position in life, the ultimate test for life’s upcoming challenges?

The only thing you have to do is to take the right fork in the road when standing at the crossroad.

Why do we suffer so much after a break up?

The usual break up or divorce starts in the same manner: the partner leaves, one way or the other.

How the one left behind copes with this experience is determined by 3 main factors:

1. The nature of the relationship to their partner
2. The expectation they had of the relationship
3. Their personality and personal experiences

A break up is a devastating experience for everyone. Whether or not the person left behind will suffer beyond the borders of normality depends on their expectations and experiences. The healing depends on their ability to face these factors. If they can "look into the core", identify their behavior and fix their problems, then the healing will take place and there will be improvement in other areas of their life as well.

A break up discloses mercilessly all our weaknesses and hidden pain we have carried around since childhood. We must seize the chance to uncover and get rid of them once and for all.

A case study of two broken hearts

Case no. 1 - Kevin:

When his wife left him after 3 years of marriage, Kevin was devastated. He called in sick for work and didn’t leave the apartment where they used to live for about 6 weeks. He felt as if the very reason for his existence just vanished. He completely lost his center and will for life. All he could think of was the life he had. Although he knew that his marriage was definitely over, he could not stop wishing she would come back. This thought was the very spark of his life and his so called existence.

After 6 weeks, the initial shock was gone and he slowly started to ask himself where he was headed. He felt he was walking on a thin line towards a crossroad: to his left and right was a deep and dark abyss. He knew that he had to choose which road to follow, and this decision would determine his future life.

So he finally walked out of his apartment, met some friends, spoke with them about his fears and the way he felt. He did some research, and with the help of a friend, who is a psychotherapist, he discovered the main source of his problems: a strong lack of self-esteem and self-love.

His life had been happy because his beautiful wife gave meaning and value to his life. His happiness came from outside, rather than from the inside.

Through the coaching of his friend and a disciplined self-study, he not only overcame the divorce, but also remarkably improved his quality of life. Everything seemed to have changed: his relationships with others, his progress at work, his attitude towards women, his life goals.

He had become an entirely new person.

Case no. 2 - Julia:

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