Ask Dan and Jennifer » Astrology

Astrological Compatibility: Are The Stars In Alignment For Your Relationship?

Jeffrey Kishner — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 14:20:30 +0000

Some partners are possessive, while others don’t even ask where you were all night. And when it comes to independence, it can be maddening if the two of you don’t have a good fit. You may want your main squeeze to be with you all the time, while your honey bristles at being under a tight leash.

It’s frustrating when your needs are so out of line with another’s.

Fortunately, astrology can lend some insight into the desire for freedom versus security.

Each sign of the zodiac has a different energy, and can be sorted into one of two camps: extroverted and introverted. Extroverted types need to be out and about, mixing it up with lots of people to feel fulfilled. Introverts need time alone, and don’t easily come out of their shells. They still need people, but are more likely to have a trusted few than a whole entourage.

Fire and Air Signs

Fire and Air signs tend to be extroverts. The Fire signs include Aries, Leo and Sagittarius.

Aries has a need for novelty, and ploughs ahead to act on their own desires, regardless of the feelings of anyone else. This pioneering sign hates to be controlled or held back, so will not respond well to ultimatums that they spend every night at home. Aries is ruled by planet Mars, the god of war … so you don’t want to get in this sign’s way!

Leo loves to be the life of the party and thrives on attention and adulation. However, they also require loyalty, and will not take kindly to your request to spend a quiet weekend tending to the garden. Whereas Aries will just do his or her own thing, Leo will insist on dragging you to the next party to be their arm candy. In other words, this Sun-ruled sign cannot be too independent, because Leo depends on others to reflect back their brilliance.

Sagittarius, on the other hand, is a wild horse that cannot be restrained. This sign, ruled by the largest planet in the solar system, needs to explore the world! Hungry for sport and adventure, Sag absolutely cannot be held down in one place for too long — unless they’re committed to completing a PhD in World Religions. Although they place importance on morality and ethics, these ideals are not going to keep them faithful if you insist on keeping them home under lock and key.

The Air Signs

The Air signs include Gemini, Libra and Aquarius.

Gemini needs lots of stimulation or they get easily bored. So unless you’re the most interesting and entertaining person on the planet, be prepared to give Gem lots of room to converse with a variety of people. This sign is ruled by Mercury, the messenger, and requires a constant flow of information (gossip!) to feel satisfied. So give your Gemini partner ample time to talk on the phone and tap away on IM, and they’ll be happy.

Libra is an exception to the freedom rule. Although an outgoing air sign, Libra is ruled by Venus, goddess of love. The Libran absolutely needs a one-on-one relationship to feel fulfilled, and especially the kind that feels like an equal, fair partnership. Libra will want to spend a lot of time with you, and if you insist on a boys or girls night out, then Libra will want to do the same, just to balance the scales.

Aquarius is the most independent sign of the zodiac. The sign of friends and groups is rather detached and impersonal, preferring the company of many over deep intimacy with one. You’re more likely to find Aquarius rallying for political change than for more heart-to-heart talks. This sign won’t mind if you spend much of your time somewhere else, and will insist on the same lee-way from you.

Earth and Water Signs

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Why So Many Men Are Emotionally Unavailable – The Astrology of Feeling

Jeffrey Kishner — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 14:13:09 +0000

Emotionally Unavailable Men

Many women wish that their men were more emotionally available, yet when a man cries or shows sensitivity, he is perceived as weak or un-masculine.

In the culture of the U.S., men have been raised to be John Wayne, not Johnny Depp. A guy’s effete mannerisms make one wonder about his sexual orientation; a tear shed makes him a sissy. Boys may be raised with classic lines like "Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about."

Face it…

Despite more flexibility in our culture regarding gender, boys are still expected to be boys. Emotions are considered the territory of girls, and boys are only supposed to focus on playing in the dirt (or playing dirty) and developing their analytical skills. It’s more important for a guy to diagnose a problem with his carburetor than identify the source of his melancholy.

Despite the weight of upbringing and social mores, some boys still turn into "girly men," as the famous Hanz and Franz SNL sketch goes. And it has nothing to do with being gay or straight.

Why is that?

The Astrology of Feeling

In astrology, the twelve signs of the zodiac are broken up into four elements, or ways of processing experience. These elements are Earth, Fire, Air and Water. The Earth sign man is a solid, dependable type who only believes in what he can hold with his two hands. The Air sign man is logical and verbal, more into information and dialogue than inner experience. The Fire sign man is outgoing and inspirational, channeling his passion into creativity and sharing his message with the world. And then there’s the Water sign man.

The Water sign man is either a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. These are all deeply emotional signs. Sometimes a Water sign man will have a tough exterior, but he is simply protecting his vulnerable insides from the world. After all, both the crab (Cancer) and scorpion (Scorpio) have exoskeletons. Do you know any men who withdraw into their shells and then defend themselves by side-stepping (Cancer) or stinging you (Scorpio)? Or how about men who create confusion by stirring up the waters with their fins (Pisces)? All these sea animals have developed ways to survive, and it is no different for Water sign men.

Unfortunately, with all the pressure to be "real men," these Water sign guys often rely on their defenses to keep their strong feelings at bay. A Pisces may resort to alcohol, a Scorpio may play power games, a Cancer may become zealously attached to his country and his local football team.

However, if you gain a Water sign man’s trust and help him feel secure, he will open up a world of feeling to you… and your relationship will be much richer for it.

Featured Author, Jeffrey Kishner is a professional astrologer and Licensed Mental Health Counselor. He blogs about the astrology of relationships at Seduction Central, and created the Seduction Central Social Network and Forum, where members discuss astrological compatibility. Subscribe to his blog’s feed or get updates via email.

Why Men Don’t Say ‘I Love You’…

Jeffrey Kishner — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 15:56:38 +0000

Your guy may change your tires, buy you presents and open the door for you at a restaurant, but he has not yet uttered those three words.

Does that mean he doesn’t love you?

Without hearing the utterance, you may wonder what’s going on in his skull. Is he just sticking around for the sex? Has he developed an intricate plan to win you over and then tear your heart out, just for the fun of it?

Men are hard to read. They are not as verbal as women, and some have been raised on the belief that "actions speak louder than words. "Chalk it up to genetics, culture (nature versus nurture) … it doesn’t matter. You just want to know if you’re a man’s final destination, not just a rest stop along the highway.

Fortunately, knowledge of your guy’s zodiac sign can help you determine if he’s the strong, silent type … or if he’s just taking you for a ride. The twelve Sun signs symbolize different ways that people express themselves. Some men are primarily emotional, others live in their heads. Look to your guy’s Sun sign below to learn how likely he is to say, "I love you."

Air Signs: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius

These mental, sociable signs vary greatly in their expressions of love. Gemini may say, "I love you" Wednesday, only to have changed his mind on Friday. He is a fickle man, and it is hard to hold his interest for long. Libra, on the other hand, is the romantic type, and will not only express his affection with "I love you," but also with songs, flowers, chocolates and reservations at fine restaurants. Aquarius will say "I love you … like I love all my friends!"

Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn

More than any other element, earth signs will express their love with actions more than words. After all, the earth element is all about what you can actually hold in your hands. Taurus will express affection by doing simple things for you, probably tasks that involve physical labor. Status-conscious Capricorn will buy you diamonds. Virgo is the exception — he does thrive on being helpful, but his sign is ruled by communication planet Mercury. He’s likely to put his love into words, but he’ll also alert you to the spinach lodged between your teeth.

Fire Signs: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius

These inspiring guys prefer drama, action and adventure over articulate expressions of their love. Leo (the exception) is most likely to exclaim his affection, preferably with Shakespearian prose in front of a crowded room. Sagittarius will take you along the entire Appalachian Trail, but may fear that "I love you" means having to stay home and watch network TV. Aries will say those three words only if he had to conquer another guy (or your own resistance) to get to you.

Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces

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How to Win Back a Gemini…

Jeffrey Kishner — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 11:23:45 +0000

It may be hard to ‘lose’ a Taurus, but it’s just as difficult to keep a Gemini. The sign of the Twins is known for being fickle and flighty, stimulation-seeking and superficial. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication and information. The winged messenger is faster than the speed of light, and so is Gemini’s mind. Her brain needs to be occupied every waking moment, or else she gets fidgety and starts reading the bottoms of Snapple caps.

The Breakup

If you weren’t witty enough to keep her engaged, Gemini probably dropped you faster than you could open the New York Post to Page Six. Or maybe she balked at your attempts to stop her from chatting with every other patron at Happy Hour. Gemini needs the freedom to converse and satisfy her curiosity, and if you couldn’t give her that, there was little reason for her to stick around.

So now you’re pining for her, having realized that your life is a bore without someone to keep you on top of the latest celebrity news, as well the the tedious (but adorable) details of her day at work.

Winning a Gemini Back

Surely she will have re-entered the dating world in no time, so you’ve got competition. And unfortunately, familiarity is not an asset when it comes to this sign. In fact, you have some homework to do. If you paid attention, you know what interests her, so the first thing you do is pretend you’re preparing for Jeopardy, and imagine Alex Trebek is quizzing you on all of Gemini’s favorite categories of interest. If you can’t jazz her with your trivial knowledge, then perhaps you should set your sights on another sign.

If you’re a serious, one-on-one person, you’ll have to stretch yourself socially. Sitting quietly next to her at a dinner table while she jabbers on with friends will not excite her nearly as much as you being somewhat unavailable to her. You need to passionately talk about your own interests with someone else, so she feels there’s more to you than she assumed. Being slightly out of reach will make you more interesting. Plus, there’s nothing worse to a Gemini than being held in one place for too long, so lay off the possessiveness!

If you’re lucky, she’ll have returned to your embrace. The next challenge is to keep her there. As a wise sage once sang, "If you love somebody, set them free."

How to ‘Lose’ a Taurus Man

Jeffrey Kishner — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:29:31 +0000

It’s not so easy to get dumped by a man who dislikes change. Of all the zodiac signs, Taurus is the most stubborn, a true creature of habit. The Bull is an earth sign (along with Virgo and Capricorn), focused on tangible progress and concrete results. He’s attached to his treasured possessions. Taurus values security and reliability, and will dig in his heels if forced to move from his sweet spot in the grass. So if he finds a comfortable relationship groove, it’s near impossible to steer him from his course.

Two Types of Losing

Sometimes you want to get rid of someone who won’t let go, and other times you screw up so bad you forfeit the person you cherished. Let’s cover both scenarios:

When a Taurus Man Won’t Leave

No matter how many times you’ve said "it’s over" — you need to take matters in your own hands. The Bull can be possessive, and letting go of you can be as hard as parting with the keys to his Range Rover. Or he may take you for granted, if you’ve become a fixture of his environment … like a cozy armchair. To make him turned off to you — so that he thinks it’s his decision to call it quits — be unpredictable (and tasteless) enough to make him supremely uncomfortable. Don’t return his calls, texts or emails with any regular frequency. If you live with him, come home late when you told him otherwise. Spend money in your shared account without consulting him. Buy a really ugly sculpture. Try to smell bad. Eventually, he’ll be so fed up with you that he’ll pack his bags … and his numerous collections.

When You’ve Lost A Taurus Man

If you’ve lost a Taurus against your will, you may have inadvertently turned him off by doing exactly what irks him the most. As much as you loved him, your unreliability — and lack of appreciation for the simple things in life — drove the nail in your coffin. It’s hard to say if he’ll let you back into his arms once he’s let you go, but the best way to turn things around is by becoming more grounded. You don’t have to give up your spontaneity, but you may need to channel it into activities that appeal to him — a hike along an unmarked trail, attendance at a vintage toy convention. And bringing home a box of chocolates always works!