SUBSCRIBE10 Tested Ways To Get Rid Of Your Irritating Girlfriend (Relationship Humor)
We haven’t had a smile break in a while…
Here’s a really funny article that was recommended by one of our good friends at www.loverslawn.com.
"10 Tested Ways To Get Rid Of Your Irritating Girlfriend"
For an irritating girlfriend-free life follow these time-tested formula and you’ll be surprised to see how easy and relatively straightforward dumping an irritating ‘attachment’ can actually be!
1:) Make her wait for ages… when the dates are planned by her and, even worse when they are planned by you.
2:) Do not ever use a deodorant when you’re around her. Make it a point to munch on onions before you meet her.
3:) Attend as many calls as you can when she’s spending time with you… it helps if the one calling is you’re ex-girlfriend and it’s even better if it’s your ’supposedly’ intimate boyfriend.
4:) Be as GAY as you can!
5:) Make sure you invite her best friend every time you go out with her, and hit on her friend (doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or a girl) as shamelessly as you can. The drool-pot is a sure winner!
6:) Dress as horrendously as you possible can. Colour combinations are a strict NO-NO, unless you’re planning on doing a fluorescent orange and bright pink combo. Classic!
7:) Gorge yourself on food, hers, yours, her friend’s and make sure food spills out of your mouth every minute or so, during your lunch or dinner dates.
8:) BURP! As often and as loudly as you can. Gaseous emanations of other kinds are also sure ways to your ultimate triumph!
9:) Make sure she realises you’re not busy, but pretend to be as busy as you can possibly be when she’s around… she’ll get the hint… or even better, pair it up with being a schedule freak.
10:) Pretend you have a serious crotch infection, or a fetish or an obsession for everything down under!
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Or you can just tell her that you want to break up. But hey, if you’re too much of a coward to be the one to end it, these tips are a perfect way to avoid having to do that.
I like Sam Kinison’s method: “Start doing lots of cocaine.” Just coke out until she leaves you. “Its beautiful because she feels like @#$! because she left you…. WHEN YOU NEEDED HER MOST!!”
Uh…it’s HUMOR
Where was this posting when I needed it? It would have saved me all that digging in the backyard, and then life on the run
haha i like the cocaine suggestion xD but u do realize it might not work… what if she helps u get over your ‘addiction’? and then thinks that you think you owe her, and u feelt oo guilty to tell her the truth!! what then aargh.. then she’ll nevr go away
xDD