[K. in Cleveland]

I agree with your concerns, and I totally understand them. I cannot speak for all swingers, but I can say what I know from my experience.

Originally Posted by Pvt Gi Jane

We've (I) got a few concerns:

1. All of us know that a condom can only handle that much, what if it doesnt keep
it up??? Ya sure all the swingers goes for HIV tests, but we also know that
there is a 2 weeks window period, where they might not pick it up. Or worse,
may they had a nice time with someone else 2 days ago, ye and you get the
Virus!!! Just wondered by myself if I am willing to risk my life for sex.

This is true, and it is just something you have to weigh before hand. I feel swinging is much safer than what a lot of college kids do, because it is a more stable environment and people do wear protection and get tests. However, you do have to trust that person you are with. This is why they had to stop calling it "Safe Sex" and start saying "Safer" because nothing is 100% except not doing it.

Originally Posted by Pvt Gi Jane

2. Woman can easily fall in love with someone they have sex with, even if they
didnt plan on it!!! So what stop a woman or man to secretly start phoning, email
or sms the other swinger? Ya sure everyone else would say, its a matter of
trust, but when lust kicks in, I dont think theres much that would stop them.

This is where honesty and open communication is a must. If I started to have feelings for someone I was playing with it wouldn't be fair to my man, the guy I liked, or his wife if I tried to sneak a little somethin somethin behind everyone elses' backs. This is the time when I would have to say to the other guy, "I really like you, but I think we have to stop playing because I really like you. Even if my own relationship was rocky, it is not fair to the other couple and their family for me to wreck their lives. This takes personal restraint and discipline. If someone does not think they can do it, then they should not swing.

Originally Posted by Pvt Gi Jane

3. Worry's for a man: What if the other guy is so fantastic in bed, let your wife
have double or triple as many orgasms or double as nice as you can do it???
Wouldnt she after that, have sex with him rather than you?? Or maybe he's
got a big "D" then maybe she wont be satisfied with you.

I guess this is a personal difference too. I've had guys who did things a lot longer or who were bigger, or whatever... but I love my man. That's what counts. The intimate connection between us is more important than the sex. But no matter what size or shape the other guys are, I've never found difficulty being satisfied with him. Same thing for most of the couples we know. The sex is just a social activity.. there's no sharing of secrets, no intimate details... just sex. If someone wants the other stuff then they are looking for polyamory.

Originally Posted by Pvt Gi Jane

4. Worry's for a woman: Maybe your husband gave the "other women" such a
great time, she virtually scratched the paint off the walls and he was so turned
on by that, that sex with you seems boring after that (even if she was a hell
of a actress, which he would find out when it is to late)

Same as above... Also wanted to add, sometimes couples decide one act is too personal and agree not to do it with their swing partners.. usually kissing would be the agreement. I know a few couples who have decided kissing is too personal and more of a love act than a sex act, so they do not kiss others.

Originally Posted by Pvt Gi Jane

It does sound "Kinky" to swing and I am happy for someone if it works for them,
but theres just so many things that can go wrong, would like to get stats on swingers, if they would be honest, on if they'r really still happily married and if the thought reeeeeeaaaaallly didnt cross their minds, to have a secret date with another swinger??? lol

Again, I cannot speak for all swingers, only my personal experience.. but.. is this really any different from any monogamous relationship? Don't people get divorced who are in a monogamous relationship because one partner (or both) have cheated and gone outside of their marriage? I think this is human nature. However, I do believe that it helps a good relationship remain strong. Sexually, things don't get stale and boring when you get to try new partners....

I would never recommend anyone try swinging if they are not sure of themselves, their own intentions, feelings, and desires. If someone has any doubts as to whether they could see their mate with another person and not gt jealous or angry. If you do not have a strong relationship and are hoping to "fix" it by introducing swinging. Sometimes the fantasy of swinging can be better than the reality for people. You just have to know you and your relationship.