Thank you so much for the encouragement. I would like to get involved in our local bdsm community, but I am slightly scared both of my bf's reaction and if I would fit in/be welcome. The latter I know is silly as within my experience most people are completely friendly. I do orgasm almost every time, often more than once. I know he finds that quite reassuring, but it is also a bit of a pain because he expects that I will cum and cum soon into foreplay because especially when we started our relationship that was often the case. Lately it seems that we have less foreplay and more emphasis on me cumming (which makes it harder- normally my mind is off in happy sex play land and then I explode, not thinking "going to orgasm yet").
I am worried about our relationship dying, because we've been having issues about sex lately- mainly that I want more and not of the vanilla kind, and that he is not interested/does not want it as frequently. I'm concerned that part of him just thinks I'm a freak. In our latest discussion about sex, he said that "there must be something wrong with you if you want it that often" to my expression that I would be happy to have sex every day. It's just so good! And I want it with him.
The last time I tried to give some direction from the bottom, he became huffy and snapped "who is in charge here anyway?". We have such a positive relationship- the only reason I shared this part of my sexuality with him is because I've learned I can trust him. I used to try surprising him by waiting by the bed in my collar when he got home from work, but I've given that up lately because when he came in, he would give me a kiss, an appreciative smack on the rump or tweaking of a nipple and then say "maybe later, okay babe" and flip on his computer. When I approach him in provocative outfits/happy bondage items, he does not give me any feedback/ or has said that it just isn't attractive to him, and that he prefers physical touch instead. I don't understand because I know he masturbates to pornographic images.
If I could gain more help? Thank you all.
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