John: I suspect you're making the situation more complicated than it actually is. We tend to develop an attraction for people we spend a lot of time with. It sounds like that is definitely going on. Sometimes people feel attraction but decide not to act on it due to practical considerations. The best way to address this is to gently bring up the situation, making sure to avoid any signs of pressuring her or making demands of her. The best way I have ever found is to just ask "Have you ever thought of us being more than friends?" If the answer is yes, you have a great way into a good conversation, like Stephen was talking about. If she doesn't feel that way about you, but values your friendship, it gives her a good chance to say "It's not a good idea."
This is the best route I've found anyway. Navigating out of the friend zone is tricky, and the best route I have found is to be honest but just a little indirect. That gives the other person a chance to back away without feeling rude or hurtful. If you try to play it like a typical date, then you risk offending her by crossing the boundaries of friendship. I agree with Stephen. This needs to be a conversation.
|