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Originally Posted by futureqatif
Alright, this might be the weirdest question you might have heard, but I'll be brave and I'll sort it out. I'm from Saudi Arabia and as you know people in Saudi are not allowed to date or have any kind of relationship before marriage. And two years ago, I got a scholarship to study engineering in the US, and through these two years of my life I've come to the point where I've changed a lot in terms of my view on life, relationships, and love.
I realized, for the first time in my life, that I've lived in an absolute solitude from the opposite sex that ruined my chances of dating an open minded person in the US. Blaming the society and my family is, of course, not gonna change anything now, and the best thing for me is to start over again and try to find the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with her.
But here is the problem though, "I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START OR HOW TO START." I'm really insecure and I have a very low self-steam. For almost two years I wasn't able to make any relationship because probably I'm afraid of women sometimes or just because I don't know where to start. I'm not that attractive and I'm not looking for a supermodel; I just want to find my soul-mate and live a normal healthy life. Do you have any advice for me?
Thanks,
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So I wanted to tackle a little bit the idea of self-esteem. It's something we all deal with to some degree. Some people call it self-confidence, sometimes just self-assuredness. And it's hard, I mean one often quoted though I don't know if accurate statistic is that more people are afraid of public speaking than of dying. I don't have any easy answers. I do know that years ago, Oprah advocated a "Gratitude" diary, write 3 to 5 things in the diary every day that you are grateful for. They didn't have to even be big things. I think people can make this go further by not just writing 3 to 5 things you're grateful for, but also write 3 to 5 things you succeeded at each day, they don't have to be big things, For example my start might be "I'm grateful for the rain today (( we're in drought conditions here and need it, and I like the feel on my skin ))" and " I succeeded in bringing in the morning paper before it got soaked through by the rain" Okay those aren't big things, but if you can find those things and make those connections everyday, day in and day out, in a year you will see a completely different you. I hope these are some ideas you can use.
Warm Wishes,
Rachael
ps
must remember to add to my journal "I'm grateful for AskDanandJennifer.com and I succeeded in sharing from my heart something I hope will truly help another person"...