Michelle it sounds as if he wants to explore BDSM, but isn't completely convinced that it's alright with you or maybe he is convinced that it's alright with you yet still has some fear that there is something wrong with wanting to do that sort of thing. It's a toughie without knowing all the details. As other posters have already said, you and he need to talk about it. Maybe you should investigate in your area to see if there is a BDSM community. Among the things that local communities do is hold events for newbies and for people who have doubts and concerns like you and your husband have. Consider it a support group. There is nothing like knowing what other people do to open one's mind up to possibilities. There are lots of clichés in the BDSM community. One of my faves goes: if you see us in public we are indistinguishable from any other couple.
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