Pleasure release
Wow. I am so sorry. I can't imagine the despair you must feel. The fact that you have a girlfriend must be both a delight and a source of endless pain.
I am a Radix Practitioner, which is a form of bodywork that came out of the work of Wilhelm Reich, a student of Freud's. He taught methods for moving energy through the body and releasing it, he observed that all of our emotions are released in a similar pattern to that of the sexual orgasm. Many practitioners can help you have what is known as a "Pleasure Intensive". I don't know where you are located, but if you can find someone within your travel area who is a Radix Practitioner, you might be able to get some relief. While it's not the same as an orgasm it could give you some of the health and emotional benefits of an orgasm - not to mention helping with the frustration! The Radix webpage is: radix.org There is a listing of practitioners on their page and I suggest you find one if at all possible. Nothing will change your physiology but perhaps this could help with accepting what is without losing ALL of the desired effects.
I think you are a courageous person to talk about this, to share it and ask for help, and to be continuing to try to find a solution for yourself.
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