I have been through a similar situation. My husband wanted to participate, but didn't want to discuss it with me. After a few conversations I realized that he didn't want to admit he knew very little about it. Since I came into the relationship with previous BDSM experience, I was able to tell him what I wanted him to do and he happily followed instructions.
I have also seen situations where one partner doesn't want to talk about it because they think the other person will find their particular kink too odd or beyond their limits and break up with them. If that is the case, reassure him that nothing is too taboo to talk about and you really want to work with him. It might also help to find a good bdsm questionnaire for him to fill out. He can do that on his own time and give it to you later.
In any relationship that involves BDSM, it's very important to be open and honest about what you want. Otherwise, you're both left unsatisfied and emotionally hurt.
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