[heartbrokencanadian]

My main issue in my past 2 long term relationships was the lack of physical intimacy. I THOUGHT I did what it took to make the girlfriend comfortable, supported, and loved, and logically that told me we would also have more intimacy as a natural result. In the last relationship I've been told by my ex that her intimacy drive is definitely lower than mine, but the main issue with the lack of intimacy /affection was her "not feeling close to me" due to all the fighting, and that I didn't give her enough support /listen enough. is this all MY fault? am I that bad of a person? I tried telling her how much it meant to me, but besides physicality it was the lack of intimacy and affection, feeling that she actually WANTED me.and not just through words. it is apparent now that she doesn't but that's another topic. it was amazing for the first 3 months and I would think it is normal to slow down the physical a bit after that, but after 8 months or so it REALLY went down hill, her saying she didn't feel close, listened too etc. I can admit I wasnt the easiest person at THAT time, I was selfish due to huge issues at work, and could have shoulda would have worked on MY issues. that being said, as the relationship progressed I DID work on them, and then SHE started to go downhill. I listened, but not until recently did I realize what women mean when they say "listen".ie: don't talk or offer suggestions, just smile, nod, and don't give advice, tell them itl be ok., shoulda learned that earlier. she blames the lack of affection etc on me being too needy, which to some extent is true, but the more she pulls away, the more needy I got, and then angry, and then cold, "what is the point" and id have to ASK for sex, no man should have to do that, am I right? should it also be the man constantly the one initiating things? and don't get me wrong, I was all about pleasing her, and I understood at times if she wasnt feelin it and I was, but there were far too many times.YOUR thoughts?
Update: as a side note, how often would you women out there ideally want to make love in a week with your partner? if you weren't up to it and he was would you "help him out"? and visa versa?
i DID try my best to be there for her, make her a priority and listen but it wasnt good enuff. did try several times to give echother our 'own time'..and believe be, she always had 4+orgasms before mine because i love to please, and i last a long time. i wasnt just missing sex, it was the affection that SHOWS me love that i never really got and always made me question her love for me.........is the lack of intimacy etc MY fault?

also to mention, i DID complain at times, but for the most part I talked to her about it and what it meant to me...just didnt seem to matter since she didnt feel close and held a grudge against me for not being the best boyfriend for a years time(selfish, insecure at times)but I owned it and worked on it, and am better today