[Chits]

Hi,

I had been seeing a married man for past 8 months. I am unmarried but engaged. It was like i knew i am doing something wrong but still was doing it. We had decided that we will not give our loved once any pain and will break off with consent if it starts getting complicated. We were involved in every way...As the time passed by we started realizing that we are getting so damn emotionally envolved that staying without each other looked almost impossible. We had so much in common that we thought as if we are made for each other. But that was not the reality. Whenever we used to make love, guilt pangs start to hit me badly. Then i used to decide that i will break away but could never be able to do that. We used to work in the same office and used to be with each other for 12 hrs in day. He has a family with a wife and a kid. I made friends with his wife too though never felt comfortable in her company.

But one day i decided that it is never going to go any where and now i need to end it. I changed the city. Now i work in same company but in different location. Now i am with my fiancee. Initially i used to talk to him over phone. He used to say that he cant leave his family but wants to keep me as well in his life. But during conversations i used to shout at him and used to ask him to come to me and marry me if he still wants to be in touch with me.Though deep down in my heart i never wanted distroy his family. After that i stopped talking to him completely. Now i don't talk to him, don't take his calls, don't text him. I have thrown all his gifts and ended friendship with all the common friends. But i still miss those times that i have shared with him. I still miss talking to him and his loving me. I still miss those days. Those memories are haunting me and not letting me to come out of it. I have a fiancee who loves me and cares for me but i am not able to reciprocate his feelings. He gave me marriage proposal and i refused and asked for some more time. I dont want to hurt my fiancee in any way but at the same time i dont want to marry him right now. Please help me out as i am stuck in this emotional web.