she is normal
theres a lot of mental issues too.....for most women it takes reliable rhythm and consistency to reach orgasm until they canlearn to focus on the orgasm alone.....you may be the type of man who spends ample time on her as you should but be defeated by her mind thinking "oh god what if he stops im so close"and then her dropping her arousal levels as a result.sometimes if she knows she can masterbate to orgasm she can masterbate for you so you can see what her speed is like her favorite spot and such....also please do not underestimate the value of good lubrication .
keep in mind a large part of women do not have orgasms during sex ,some only have orgasms form oral sex,some only from masterbation....it doesnt mean she if defective.if you love her then you should want to help her to get there....and it may be a long hard road....im sure however since you have experienced an orgasm or two before you would want her to experience the same pleasure
the fact she told you she cant reach orgasm through penetration means she really really trusts you ,im sure she is willing to try to fix that with your help
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