I play World of Warcraft! And you know, I've met some nice friends on there. and I have met them in real life. So, communication does happen in the game. My guy plays a lot more than I do, and he's in an uber raiding guild. I left the guild because they would never let me come on raids. I just found another guild.
I do try to set some boundaries with my guy. I"m usually okay if he warns me he's going to play for a while. When we were first dating, he would not talk to me for days because he was playing. But i was okay if he said "I'm going to work on Omens this weekend". I usually said okay and went off to do things for myself. We have a movie night or we play other games together. I would encourage you to say something like, "since you don't raid on thursdays, we should have a date night". and suggest some place you both might enjoy.
Some of the guys I play with talk about "Wife faction". That might be a good idea to put into his head! I don't know if you would want to play with him, but I do find it fun to play with my guy. I do have one jealousy, but I've known about her for years! and he's known her longer than he's known me. So, I can deal with her.
I know what you are going through. And I have other couple friends that play. But usually my jealousy stemmed from being left out.