Dictionary Definition of abstinence n. The act or practice of refraining from indulging an appetite or desire, especially for alcoholic drink or sexual intercourse.
From a technical standpoint, true abstinence would involve refraining from masturbation (mutual or otherwise) or any other activity (such as daydreaming or fantasizing about sex) that indulged one's desire for sex.
It's like considering virginity as relating only to the hymen. Is a woman a virgin if she's never had vaginal sex but has had anal sex once? How about 40 times? How about multiple oral and anal and masturbation partners but not vaginally? It's be hard to consider her a "virgin."
I'm not a proponent of abstinence. But engaging in mutual masturbation is clearly not abstinence.
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Bill Clinton
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