You now have information you didn’t wish you had, which is always a possibility when snooping. Unfortunately you can’t “Un Know” what you now know so you’re going to have to deal with it in some way.
I would probably be much more concerned about his complete lack of intimacy rather than his porn watching habits. Porn can and is a healthy thing when done in moderation, but it should NEVER replace ones partner.
Now you can obviously confront him on his porn watching activities, but you are probably right, he will become defensive and angry that you snooped. Having said that, you have the right to expect certain things from your relationship, and from the sounds of it, things such as kissing, touching and sex in general he is no longer fulfilling and they seem like things that you require.
Now I understand the whole financial issue, but there are plenty of couples out there in financial crisis who still are intimate so that’s not a valid excuse for what he is doing.
So… Don’t take the porn thing personally!! It has nothing to do with you, how you look, or your abilities as a partner. This is HIS problem, not yours…. You really have 2 options.... Live with it, which would suck and it will only lead to you becoming more and more convinced that you are somehow inferior to these “Porn Women” or confront him on his lack of intimacy. You can leave out the whole porn thing if you want, he doesn’t have to know that you snooped. I would sit him down and tell him that his lack of intimacy is not acceptable even with the current financial status.. Hell, since he is not working he should have more time and energy for you and your relationship. It’s all fine good and great to stay with someone though a rough time, but they have to be working on fixing the issues during this time, not put you and your sexual relationship on hold permanently until he decides to address the real issue.
I wouldn’t just let this go, if it’s been 5 months already, it will be 2 years before you know it, and if these things are really important to you, it will eventually build a resentment that won’t be easy to undo. Also do you want to wait 2 years only to discover that he won’t change and that you have to leave him over it? Better to figure this out now.
On a final note.. I am going to repeat this one last thing.. This is an issue with him and not you. Your part in this is to bring up the lack of sex and its effects on you emotionally and see if there is a way to correct the problem. You do not want to be one of those people writing on one of the Sexless Marriage sites talking about how it’s been 15 months since you last had sex!
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