Trust - and committment - how together are you?
My big question is how "together" or exclusive are you in this relationship? are you two living together? more importantly is it a clearly agreed-upon exclusive relationship - or still in the casual dating phase?
it shouldn't matter if the trainer is gay or straight - any more than it matters if your wife's trainer is gay or straight for a straight guy. what matters is the trust level you have.
And of course the commitment level and dynamics of the relationship. do you feel that your partner's actions are ever intended to make you jealous - i.e. "game playing"?
IF you do talk to him about it - which you probably should (letting something like that faster only makes it worse) - whatever you do, don't use the word "you" since that puts the other person on the defensive.
You can and should share that you feel uncomfortable about something or other, but the memento you bring up "you did this" or "you're doing that" the other person gets defensive and the discussion loses any hope of achieving a positive conclusion.
Let us know how it goes!
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