Why am I scared to have sex?
I am 35 and for the past 7 years I have been unable to have any kind of sex oral or anal with another person. The few times I have tried I get scared, feel like I cannot breathe, feel dizzy, feel guilty if I cum, cannot relax and sometimes will have a panic attack. Maybe once or twice I have been able to meet someone to masturbate with but no more than that.
I have a partner of 11years and have an open relationship. I am HIV + and he is not. We do not have sex together because of this at his request. The people I am trying to meet are from the internet and I worry about safety and people using illegal drugs. Due to my HIV status I wonder if I just need to accept a sexual life of masturbation only? I long to be with a person sexually again but Im afriad I may not be able to overcome these issues.
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