well guys, I've been talking with some people: some trustable friends, my father and even my own Gf about this. and allow me to say that at least I feel i'm really figuring out the problem: its more like at the beggining you know how everything is perfect and all that, but now i'm seeing all the things and the real way she is, so now i'm insecure because i don't know now if i can see us together in the future. it's frustrating cuz until a certain time ago, i felt sure about that, so it's like a shock. What bothers me the most, is the fact that i still can't feel you know "special" or "this is it" way with her. we went out on friday and it was a good day cause we were celebrating our anniversary, but i still didn't feel that...so i talked to her about this and we got to a point were we decided we'd try. I actually wanted that, because i really want to try: i don't know maybe it's a moment thing or something, but if it continues, i'll probably have to call off this relationship.
I felt really bad about myself cuz she told me she really loved me, and she really does i can tell that her love is that way, it's way more sincere than mine, and i really feel bad because: she loves me just the way I am, why can't i do the same? she's an awesome girl and she loves me, and i'm not perfect at all, so why can't i do the same for her?
the problem with her is that she has certain selfstime issues that we've been battling from the very begging of the relationship, and she tends to be kind of emotinally dependant, besides sometimes we have certain things that sometimes create conflicts between us and that hurts us, certain differences between the way we are I'd say: that's why i still don't feel sure about us now. i think we might hurt ourselves badly in the future and if we still don't have that "connection" well, it turns really difficult for me to se us together.
so i've decided this: we are gonna try. if we see that this is not going anywhere during the next month or so, well then we'll have to take separate ways.
and guys for the last time: about this other girl, it's not a big deal. i think it's kinda my fault for saying it the way i did. It was just a crush, no big deal. believe me, it was for the spare of the moment thing. probably brought by the "greener lawn" thing, so let's not get too much into that, when it's actually not worth it. i apologize if i made it look worse that it actually was. sorry for that, my mistake.
my deal now is: how i get back that security i had and that connection i used to feel. if anyone could suggest something it would be nice.
thanks for all the help.
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