Xero that's not what he asked about
Here is his question
"But my question is, how would we ever begin to approach a woman at a bar about something like this? Or is there another way that anyone can tell us about to help us out?"
Doug,
You are asking the holy grail of threesomes bud
Finding a single interested female is probably one of the most difficult things you can do in swinging. My advice is join a swingers website or start going to house parties or swingers clubs IF you guys are ready for that. Also just because you go to these types of clubs doesn't mean you are obligated to do anything. It is a big step so really talk it over. Other then that, it's just dumb luck.
Asking around to regular folks is a good way to draw attention to yourself and most people are not cool with swingers and tend to judge and discriminate against them.
Approaching single women in vanilla clubs seems like a recipe for disaster.
Swinging is a lot of fun but you gotta meet up with other swingers. You know, if you want to play baseball, you gotta hang out with baseball players. Going to the bingo hall probably isn't the right place.