I think that it's a really good idea that you are trying to figure out how it all works before you have sex. A lot of women figure out how to orgasm by accident and it really does take a lot of practice and relaxation. Keep trying and it will happen. A lot of women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation so you are on the right track. It's definately not something that you can force to happen. Try not to get frustrated and remember that it can take a while to get into the right mindset so don't rush it. I hope that helps, it sound slike you are doing everything right it may just take some more time and patience. Good luck.
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