So I'm trying to bring together some logical thought here. First, the fear ( like many ) is somewhat irrational because it bases the sum total of the relationship on the skill of the male in bed. Women have sooooo many reasons for wanting to be with a man ( or a partner in general ) that have nothing to do with his penis size. If I were to make a list I would say: humor, security, intelligence, passion ( outside the bedroom ), and passion inside the bedroom which has nothing to do with size. I DO have friends who are all about the size, and to me looking at them it seems almost fetishistic. I will say that the one male I've found attractive and am still completely taken with is by his wife's statements rather well-endowed. BUT that isn't why I find him attractive. Physically he is beautiful to look at, he is tall and he makes me feel safe and both comfortable and comforted when I am with him. He has a wonderful smile and wicked sense of humor, and a terribly sharp intellect which challenges my own. I find myself just sitting listening to him talk to others just to learn what he thinks, even if I don't agree. He makes me smile. I am head-over-heels fallen for this man and I will tell you now the most he has ever done is kiss my hand. He is a gentleman and believes in treating people with respect and dignity. I have yet to be in his bed, it may or may not happen. If someone else with similar values, similar looks, and similar attitudes and actions came along I would probably find them attractive too, regardless of their penis size.
I think that if she ( the wife in the video quesion ) isn't finding sexual satisfaction from penile stimulation, and he isn't of a size to give her that satisfaction, and she looks for an additional person to help satisfy that desire and he can feel compersion I am overjoyed to hear that. It is a truly enlightened attitude. I don't think one single person can satisfy every need and want any of us feels. I think for the man who seeks this out he needs to communicate and so does his partner. I think he should feel very secure that he is meeting all of her other needs and strengthening that bond with his SO. AND there are many many MANY other ways to find sexual satisfaction than just penile penetration, there are toys, there is oral-genital stimulation, there is digital stimulation, there is fisting which when done slowly and gently can bring many women intense pleasure, there is just a long long list of things one can do aside from penile-vaginal penetration, and I think it's dangerous to sum up everything that a relationship is and can be, on the length or girth of a a man's penis. Okay I've rambled enough. By the way I LOVE the word compersion, I just think it is such an incredible idea, a true expression and extension of one's love for someone else!!!
Hugs,
Rachael
ps I did say something about there has to be huge amounts of open and honest communication right? I did work in that one has to talk and actively share what one is feeling and what one hopes for sharing in this way right? I hope somewhere in there I also said that fear of losing one's SO to a larger penis is not a useful fear to have I hope.
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