[Cocky]

It is cheating.

Just because you're doing it with guys and you don't consider yourself gay (I assume), doesn't make it invalid.

You are going behind your wife's back and sleeping around - that's breaking her trust in you. If she found out, she'd be devastated no matter the sex.

I'm guessing you don't feel guilty because you've made up your mind that it doesn't count as cheating.

I don't know your situation and what caused you and your wife to stop having sex, so I can't really give you any advice about that. I think your trysts will manifest themselves eventually. Everything comes out in time.

From how I see it, you could either continue on with your secret life, or tell your wife about it. It's up to you.