[FreezeFlame]

I've felt that way. It's love, for certain (though some more "experienced" souls would call it obsession when really it's just a different form from usual), and I've felt it.

I told you on msn about the boy I loved, who was in my classes. I felt so strongly for him, moreso than any crushes from the past. The first time I saw him I had to leave the room and collapsed in the school bathroom, my heart pounding so hard in my chest. He only fueled the flames of my desire by treating me with a kindness he didn't seem to display toward any other strangers.

When everything was wonderful between us one of his friends came up to me (who was also a friend of mine) and she said:

"When he talks about you it's in the same way as when he speaks of a girl he has a crush on."

And then, after so much had happened between us... we both seemed to give up on our friendship or whatever you could call what we had. I pushed him away because I was worried about him rejecting me in the end. He began to hate me because of the rumor that started...

And here we are, almost 4 months later. I've grown up a lot over the summer vacation, and if I could have gone back to the first moment he confronted me about the rumor I would have done everything so differently.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are those who can relate to you. The love between a man and a man is as valid as the love shared by a man and woman, or two women. It's not really a heartbreaking story when you think about it. You find yourself so deep in love, which is a beautiful (albeit painful) thing. Treasure it, because when you stop feeling those ways it sometimes feels empty---not having anyone to think of all the time.

((I'm seeing him for the first time since school ended today. We probably won't even talk, but I'm curious as to how I feel. If I see him without feeling that thud in my heart I'll know I'm over him))