Being gay isn't about the sexual acts you participate in; it's about your desire to participate in those acts with someone of your own gender.
So, unless you wish your wife was really a man; or you think you would enjoy having a man do the same things to you that your wife does (or you fantasize about such a scenario), then no, you're not gay or bi.
As to how to make it feel even better, I bet if you stopped worrying so much that it somehow means you must be gay, that would help a lot.
