No this does not make you gay or bi. You are not attracted to men, hence you are not gay or bi. If it feels good and you both enjoy it - have fun. :-) As for how to make it feel better...
1. Try different lubes - textures and aromas
2. Try different shaped and sizes of strap ons
3. Try a vibrator, anal beads, butt plugs, etc.
4. If you' (and your wife) are open to the idea - add another girl ;-)
5. What about letting your wife tie you up - the whole submission angle?
And most of all... relax and enjoy the ride. ;-)
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