I would assume from what I have read, that you have a solid relationship. 10 years is a long time. But let me understand, your husband has had sex outside of your marriage and you went forward with a sexual encounter with another woman?
OK, that seems fair. Do you consider yourselves in a open relationship? Doesn't sound like it, too many secrets. If so, he should get over it. You seem to forgive his adventures, and remorse isn't enough.
I had a long converstation with my wife about cheating and I don't really know what I might do. Some stupid things come up like, "I will rip your balls off."
But I know that would never happen. I know if my wife cheated on me, I still couldn't live without her. That being said, being attached to one person is HER biggest fear. So I would imagine she couldn't live without me either. Technically our marriage is the longest relationship either of us has had.
Continuing your friendship with the people you had this "affair" with should not be an issue. I am clearly aware of my wife's past and the people in it. They are still present even to this day. Boyfriends, lovers, fuck buddies, etc. None of them make me worry about my relationship. What we have is unique to us, and cannot be recreated with another partner.
Question is, do you worry about you relationship? Does your husband? Can you open up your relationship? If you can, then you should work together. Move forward as a couple, leaving the rest behind.
Just a thought.
OverKnight