Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US
Hi Dan and Jennifer, yes you do have international fans!!
Anyways here is my question. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 yrs now and she really likes rough sex. She hasn't been really clear as to if she likes bdsm and that kind of stuff, but rough as in really hammering her, choking,
|
Choking is more dangerous than people often realise. Have a safeword she can use even when breathing is restricted: three-grunts is common.
A cool trick to try if she likes asphyxiation. Have her hang her head - upside-down - off the end of the bed. The rush of blood gives the same feeling as being choked, but it's much safer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US
However I have trouble calling her names, slapping her and just throwing her all over the place. I try dirty-talk and she says I do it OK, but I don't think OK is good enough.
|
I have the same problem: I find it difficult to "let go" and be vocally dirty. You could try reversing it: get her to give you the dirty talk, and you'll see what she likes and how far you can go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US
Trust is not an issue. I just finished watching your video on rough sex but it's more about bdsm and it therefore doesn't answer my specific question.
|
Rough sex is BDSM. Especially when it's as rough as what you're saying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US
I love her response to whatever roughness she gets out of me because I love it when she screams, begs me to stop and says she can't take it anymore. I love when she puts up a fight, scratches me and hits me on my chest like she's out of control. And her orgasms are so much stronger when I am rough, and she gets so many more in little time!!
|
I would suggest you try bondage, at least some of the time. Believe it or not it will actually be safer: she can pull against the ropes as hard as she likes (she's not going anywhere), you can aim a hard smack to the breast or the ass in the knowledge that it won't miss. You can also set the pace really well: tickle her until she's frantic, squeeze a nipple hard, flick her skin with a wooden skewer...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US
But she always mentions the other things I don't do and says she would really love me to do them. I am willing to do it but I don't know how. Other than the fact that I don't want to hurt her or her feelings, I also don't want to do something and it ends up being mediocre.
|
It sounds like you need a safeword: especially until you get more experienced in how to be safe and rough. I know safewords might seem like a bit of a bummer: "surely she'll just use it all the time then?". In reality it lets you really let go. You can hit hard on the backside, she might scream "Ouch NO!", but since she didn't utter the safeword you know it's okay (actually sometimes you should still ask, because people can forget to use their safewords).