NO you don't have to be that in order to get women...
Funny coincidence, I was talking about this in a product that I am working on just the other day.
"Do you need to be the entertaining and always joking guy to get women?" NO you don't have to be that in order to get women.
I have tried many things in order to get better with women in the past. For a while there I was playing the entertainer, always joking and the life of the party kind of guy. I have to admit, it did work but it never felt congruent.
I am more of a calm, collected and relaxed type of person and the life of the party is not who I really am. At a certain point I decided to go back to who I was in the beginning. It was interesting to see that my 'success' with women actually went up.
I believed I became better at talking and attracting women because I was being more honest and upfront with them. I was no longer pretending to be someone else in order to get them to like me.
Pretending to be someone you are not in order to get something from others (women being attracted) is manipulative and needy. It tells women that you will lie to them to get what you want. I believe all of us have some level of bs detector and can tell when people aren't being honest with us. When that happens we instinctively pull away from that person.
It also sends a loud and clear message to women that you have low self esteem. It tells the woman that you feel that who you really are is not enough to get her attracted to you. You lack something or other so you need to pretend to be this entertainer just get her to like you.
While you don't need to be the entertainer guy you need to have certain things in place for you interactions to go well. Here are a few:
-sense of humor
-somewhat positive attitude
-a little bit louder voice. Not the loudest voice but a strong voice that everyone you talk to can hear you clearly
-confidence and high self esteem
Alex
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