You can save your marriage, but it'll take both of you.
Make sure she wants to stay with you
if not, there's little you can do
If so, then tell her you need closure. If she doesn't talk to you then you aren't communicating properly, or well enough at least, and the marriage will fail anyway. Make sure she knows this.
At first, just ask for small details about the affair
Don't forget she was drunk though-if you were expecting someone but they weren't there, so you were sad, and then you got drunk, then it's very likely you'd leap at any opportunity to be comforted.
Most importantly: is she sorry?
If she is, then that's probably the most important thing. She wants your marriage to work, and wishes she hadn't done that.
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