[justhisonce]

Yes, sex has been naught recently in my life. I fantasize about women when I'm 'dancing with myself'. I loathe using a condom, and at the same time am scared of getting an std or getting a girl pregnant. I've had two good long relationships with great women and never had a problem. We split for reasons that they were both bad girls, which I fall for, but I couldn't endure their addiction to drugs. Whole other story. I can't think of anything traumatic that's happened. These women recently with whom I've failed with at the point of intercourse have all been empathetic toward me, blaming it on alchohol, stress, whatever. It's very nice of them, but all I can do is look down and want to curse the "@#$%%&*" out it. Also, I don't see what women find attractive about me. I don't see myself having a low self esteem, but I think there are guys much better looking than me, that they don't want. Go figure. I lean toward married women since this has happened. They are more compassionate/mature it seems. I hate to be a dog, but I find myself fantasizing about my freinds' wives. You guys are right about the nervousness. O.K. so here's my analogy... Recently my experience with women has been like a baseball player who hits the ball everytime. I walk up to the plate and know I'm going to hit the ball. It's like not even a question. No matter what the pitcher throws me I nail the ball, but the f*cked up part is I don't care what happens to the ball. I turn around while it's in mid-air and walk back to the dug-out. And my teammates are like "what the hell bro?That was a homerun!" I just shrug it off and tell them they can run the bases for me. Thanks for your time Dan and Jennifer