I just had the same thing happen to me and my husband was cheating, We are trying to work things out. The best thing you could do is talk to her and tell her what you are thinking of doing. My husband did not talk to be until it was to late. Not knowing for years what he was missing (call me blind) made us both let the relationship suffer.
I am hurt and having a hard time trusting the things he tells me and always felling that ma by he is regretting ending the affair. he assures me that he is not but i have to trust that this is true. There are going to be so many things that is going to make fixing our relationship hard because of how things went down. So in the end tell her everything and hope this will make her realize what she is doing. I hope this is not to much rambling for you but this only happened to me over Christmas so my thoughts are still a little bit messed up.
take care and good luck.
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