Tatted,
I KNOW exactly where you are. My first girlfriend ( yes I said girlfriend ) was exactly the same way, reading your letter was for me like going back and reading one of my journals from that time in my life. Does she want you? Does she want to be single or does she want to be a couple? It's funny, we even tried the staying friends thing afterward. And yes, I went to visit her at her sister's apartment and she brought a guy with her, a date. So during the date she is all over ME, totally ignoring this very nice guy. When I asked her to stop because it was starting to get to me, she laughed and started flirting with him. She had to leave for awhile and she was the SAME WAY with this guy as she'd been with me, her ex-girlfriend. She would flirt and lead him on right to the point where they were going to have sex, and then brush him off. "Suddenly" she has a headache or whatever the excuse was, "oh it's late, let's do this tomorrow night, when we can make it special" etc. My advice, accept the friendship, but from a distance. Do go and find someone who will give you clear communication that she is the person you are looking for and vice versa and that she doesn't like game playing any more than you do. It will make your life soooo much easier in the long run. I have someone whom I love, someone I can communicate with on everything. And we have been together for almost 20 years. I can honestly say for ME I could never have gotten the kind of relationship with my ex that I have now. Do I still think of her and the incredible sexual tension she could create, absolutely! Would I trade that for what I have now, not in a million years. Good Luck, and "GO COMMUNICATION!"
Rachael
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