She likes really rough sex - how can I let go and please her?

Hi Dan and Jennifer, yes you do have international fans!!

Anyways here is my question. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 yrs now and she really likes rough sex. She hasn't been really clear as to if she likes bdsm and that kind of stuff, but rough as in really hammering her, choking, name-calling, spanking, throwing her all over the place, pulling her hair, just basically man handling her and treating her like a "rag doll" (in her own words). I on the other hand have always preferred slower sex but I am making the effort to get into what she likes, but I am having some difficulty.

Some parts are easy like the really hard and rough penetration (she feels no pain so it's cool) and the spanking, choking and pulling her hair. However I have trouble calling her names, slapping her and just throwing her all over the place. I try dirty-talk and she says I do it OK, but I don't think OK is good enough.

Please, tell me how to release my inhibitions!! Trust is not an issue. I just finished watching your video on rough sex but it's more about bdsm and it therefore doesn't answer my specific question.

I love her response to whatever roughness she gets out of me because I love it when she screams, begs me to stop and says she can't take it anymore. I love when she puts up a fight, scratches me and hits me on my chest like she's out of control. And her orgasms are so much stronger when I am rough, and she gets so many more in little time!!
But she always mentions the other things I don't do and says she would really love me to do them. I am willing to do it but I don't know how. Other than the fact that I don't want to hurt her or her feelings, I also don't want to do something and it ends up being mediocre.
I hope you understand where I am coming from and are willing to help.

It is ok with me if you use this to make one of your videos, in fact I would be really pleased. I know my letter is quite long so you are free to summarize or pick and choose which passages a really relevant for the video.

Thank you guys so much in advance!

[The Beautiful Kind]

1. Take turns with what you like - some nights can be slow and gentle, other nights can be rough n' wild.

2. Have a couple drinks, it'll loosen you up.

3. She should have a safe word she can use if you cross a line. That way you don't need to second guess when she says, "no, please don't, stop!"

4. Did you ever wrestle and play fight as a kid? Take yourself back to that mindset, it's FUN to pretend and let go. Keep in mind that you are in a role, and that you are name calling in that role, and that it's a game. What you do in the bedroom is separate from real life.

Yep, the best sex is the kind you can FEEL later on. You are great to make the effort to please your woman - for some people manhandling comes naturally, those with dom personalities. You might have a more submissive personality.

Here is a fun recent comment on my blog, check out the comments!
Sexy China: Bondage Ambush Rape » The Beautiful Kind

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Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US

Hi Dan and Jennifer, yes you do have international fans!!

Anyways here is my question. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 yrs now and she really likes rough sex. She hasn't been really clear as to if she likes bdsm and that kind of stuff, but rough as in really hammering her, choking,

Choking is more dangerous than people often realise. Have a safeword she can use even when breathing is restricted: three-grunts is common.

A cool trick to try if she likes asphyxiation. Have her hang her head - upside-down - off the end of the bed. The rush of blood gives the same feeling as being choked, but it's much safer.

Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US

However I have trouble calling her names, slapping her and just throwing her all over the place. I try dirty-talk and she says I do it OK, but I don't think OK is good enough.

I have the same problem: I find it difficult to "let go" and be vocally dirty. You could try reversing it: get her to give you the dirty talk, and you'll see what she likes and how far you can go.

Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US

Trust is not an issue. I just finished watching your video on rough sex but it's more about bdsm and it therefore doesn't answer my specific question.

Rough sex is BDSM. Especially when it's as rough as what you're saying.

Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US

I love her response to whatever roughness she gets out of me because I love it when she screams, begs me to stop and says she can't take it anymore. I love when she puts up a fight, scratches me and hits me on my chest like she's out of control. And her orgasms are so much stronger when I am rough, and she gets so many more in little time!!

I would suggest you try bondage, at least some of the time. Believe it or not it will actually be safer: she can pull against the ropes as hard as she likes (she's not going anywhere), you can aim a hard smack to the breast or the ass in the knowledge that it won't miss. You can also set the pace really well: tickle her until she's frantic, squeeze a nipple hard, flick her skin with a wooden skewer...

Originally Posted by Kenny - Not In the US

But she always mentions the other things I don't do and says she would really love me to do them. I am willing to do it but I don't know how. Other than the fact that I don't want to hurt her or her feelings, I also don't want to do something and it ends up being mediocre.

It sounds like you need a safeword: especially until you get more experienced in how to be safe and rough. I know safewords might seem like a bit of a bummer: "surely she'll just use it all the time then?". In reality it lets you really let go. You can hit hard on the backside, she might scream "Ouch NO!", but since she didn't utter the safeword you know it's okay (actually sometimes you should still ask, because people can forget to use their safewords).