Is bondage normal at my age?

[01000001]

I'm a 15yr old lad from England and I've been having sexual bondage fantasy's for around a year and a half. I don't really like the hardcore stuff I see but when I 'fap' it helps me ejeculate.

I've never had a girl friend but like most boys my age want one! Is it normal that at my age I'm thinking about bondage, and what would be the best way to cope with it?

- Thanks, Matt.

[Xero]

It is completely fine to think about bondage and being young. I my self did the same thing. You might find your self into more than that when you get older, or as time goes on. I think all you need to understand is that it is not always like that in real life because porn is not totally accurate.

But you can possible find some one that will enjoy what you like. But you would need a relationship first, then to drop hints/ask about their sexual fantasies, and them tell them yours.

[gingersnaps]

i was into s&m at that age too, its all good but just remember most people at that age are not mature enough to think of it in any other terms than as weird, and even fi they do like ti most wont admit it as they fear ridicule. try hanging out with goths, they seem to dig it more than other teens. or just wait until you find someone more mature.

[Wolfhowl]

Bondage, like any other fetish or Kink knows no Age range.

Some people discover it early, and other's discover it later in life. Everyone has their own thing that will really turn them on, and some others will just be passing fancies. Don't try to hide from the, but of course always practice common sence.

Enjoy

[Beagle]

Ah, welcome to the forums. I see I'm addressing a fellow computer nerd.

Thank you for your very constructive post. I always make a special effort to respond to the young people who post here because there is such a lack of accurate information on these subjects. I'm very thankful to Dan and Jennifer for creating a place where people can openly ask questions and share information.

What is normal? Ultimately, normal is in the eye of the beholder. I'm going to tell you my definition:

Normal behavior respects the rights, feelings, and safety of everyone involved. That means that everyone involved is a consenting participant. Consent means that the people are of similar age-groups, mental equals, fully understand what is being proposed, and are free to say no without adverse consequences. I know you were asking about fantasies, and I thought I'd go ahead and give you this for free. When I say they need to be of similar age, obviously that only applies to teens. Generally, the law takes a dim view if there is more than three years age difference for minors.

Now, to your question. It sounds like your fantasy life is perfectly normal. Most bondage behaviors are a perfectly normal aspect of human sexuality. They are actually playful, and no one get's hurt. If these are your fantasies, then I think they're a healthy part of adolescent development. If your fantasies are about someone really being hurt, then I don't think that's healthy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with fantasizing about bondage or other forms of BDSM play.

When you go to church or school or wherever, it's difficult to imagine that the people there have similar fantasies. If you are in a group of people, you can bet money that someone there has similar fantasies. Like all healthy human behaviors, it can be taken to an unhealthy extreme, however. If you find yourself giving up other activities to fantasize about sexual behaviors, then it's probably getting out of hand and you need to redirect yourself.

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for posing your question in an appropriate, positive, and healthy way.

[Desperate in Florida]

Hey Mat,
My name is Shelly and I'm also 15. I'm also into the bondage thing like you not the hardcore stuff. For me it's more of the bondage being tied down and held back not being able to do anything. I have never had a boyfriend either (cept u it would be gf) I think you should roam around your group of friends and hint about the subject to some of them. Almost all of my friends are into bondage also so if you find someone who likes it then maybe you could talk to them about it get tips and help from them. Maybe they would even have a friend and hook you up with someone. Good luck and if you don't mind tell me how it's goin later on.
good luck,
shelly

[01000001]

Thank you for all your advice, I really appreciate it. I haven't really moved along much in my relationship state although I feel mentally I am much more knowledgeable and relaxed about my fantasy than before I came to the site. Maybe being a bit of a tech geek doesn't help me in getting into a relationship but I'm sure their will be someone down the line.

Oh and at Beagle the name was more for remaining anonymous than trying to look a tech geek but it kinda have me away!

Once again thanks for all the help and advice you've given.