Am I alone in having a rape fantasy?

[Christina Marie]

I am a newly divorced 20 year old woman who has an unusual fantasy. I have a rape fantasy. I feel very alone in this fantasy and have rarely shared it with others, due to its taboo nature. I in no way feel that real rape is acceptable, I myself have been raped and while it was a horrible thing to happen I couldn't help but be turned on by it. I am very confused as to why non-consensual sex is such a turn on for me. I did not have an sexually abusive childhood, and its not that I cannot find sexual partners. I have worked as a model for adult websites and have almost no limits to what I will do sexually. I feel like my fantasy contradicts my values, for while I can be very wild sexually, and enjoy women as well as men, I am very old fashion as to what I feel a relationship is.
I guess my question is, is this a normal fantasy for a woman to have? What is the best way to bring up this fantasy to a new partner? I fear that telling a new partner this might scare him away. Is there a way to safely experience this fantasy?

Thank you,
Christina Marie

[stephen]

As your question has said it is fantasy. Do not feel alone in this. Myself i have had this fantasy, since i am a male i was being raped and what ever else they wanted. Yes, it was turn on for me. From my experience i would say get to know the partner you are dating or romancing. Learn to communicate what they like and feel, and the same goes for you.

As for your actual question i would say yes. Just most do not go any further than a fantasy. Now if you can live your fantasy then you need to learn and feel what all the pros and cons are in dealing with this knid of fantasy. Just keep in mind you are going into a fantasy that can be enjoyable or turn around and be a total disaster. Just be carefully and live your life to it fullest

[Beagle]

From a psychological perspective, there is nothing abnormal about that fantasy. Like you, women often feel they are the only one's having that fantasy. I don't remember the exact percentages, but it's fairly common; between 1/4 and 1/3 as I recall. It's really nothing to worry about. It's just a variation of the BDSM spectrum. Some women choose to act it out in a role-playing fashion, by having their partner enter their home or bedroom and surprise them. That requires the same safety precautions as any BDSM activity, complete with safety words and stop-signals. It also requires a very high level of trust from both partners. I replied to a post from a young man whose girlfriend wanted him to participate in just that fantasy. I wasn't sure how well he knew the young lady in question and advised him to be very sure it wasn't a setup of some form. Like I say, the key ingredients in any such fantasy are trust and communication.

Just to be thorough, there are fairly rate situations associated with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) wherein a rape victim compulsively puts herself in a position to be victimized. I've seen one case in a twenty-year career. I presume that's not what you're talking about, but I just wanted to be thorough. If that is the case, then that would require professional treatment.

[theresa]

keep in mind a womans idea of erotic rape will be very different to a mans idea.....beagle is very correct in needing a safe word it has to be something you would NEVER say in bed if you want to explore it make sure trust is the very first issue,then have the trust discussion again,and again if you have to.....it takes one screwed up attempt to fulfill a fantasy and it will be ruined for life.......plus remember not every fantasy needs to be realized.some are more erotic being lived out through masturbation

[SamIAm]

It's okay, I thought I was alone too for years, and not just alone but CREEPY, and it turns out none of us are! In face, it's way more common than I had thought. Even some of my friends who aren't into the BDSM stuff like me have admitted to me that they've had rape fantasies.

[slittylicker]

I'd love to be raped by a woman...now if I could just find one to do it.

[Frenchie]

When you find the appropriate partner, ask him to be rough with you, that might be a good start. If you enjoy how it unfolds, and if you are comfortable, talk to him about the fantasy. Just like with any fantasy, doing it might take the exciting part out of it. Maybe you should reserve it for masturbation. But I think that taking it step by step might give you a good feeling on how it will end up. I think it's in every woman to desire to be roughed up during sex, so don't worry this seems quite normal.