How to make her understand my BDSM fetish

[Eddie in Space]

Hello everyone! My problem is this: I have this BDSM fetish for so long that even I don't know when exactly it started. I am 20 now, but I enjoyed fantasizing BDSM (to be more precise: spanking) since I was 7 or 8 (roughly).

I have a girlfriend and we've had a wonderful relationship for about a year. We're honest to each other, love each other and can talk about everything. We're both virgins and we'll probably not have any sex before marriage but if you exclude the sex itself, we have been very intimate and we're very open to each other. However I'm not too sure how she would react if she knew that I am obsessed with spanking, OTK, even bondage and such things. She is like, the nicest girl there is, so I think that this habit of mine would be too extreme for her. And I don't think I could ever get rid of my kinky obsession. I have a big collection of BDSM video on my computer, and I often masturbate while watching it, but I was never involved in the actual BDSM activity itself.

Which brings me to another 'possible' problem: I love BDSM too much, and whenever I fantasize, I usually fantasize about spanking/being spanked, and not about making love. Is there something wrong with me? Nobody I know knows this, I kept it as secret all my life. And I intend to keep it that way, I want nobody to know this, except my girlfriend. And I would be more than happy to do all those kinky activities with her, it would be a dream come true. I never cheated my girlfriend and I never will, but she is so pure and innocent that it's even hard to me to fantasize this type of sex with her, so sometimes I fantasize about BDSM with some of my female friends which 'fit' the fantasy better. Is that wrong? Am I being unfaithful to her? Thanks in advance if you could answer any of these questions!

[Xero]

Thinking or lookie but no touch is completely OK. People do it all the time and me and my girlfriend do it.

I think if you are going to marry her you should discuss this. Me and my girlfriend have still to get deep into sex but right now we have had some conversations about things we could do. I'm piratically in the same situation with you just not the BDSM issue.

I think if you have discussed sex with her before the talk about it again. If you havn't then I suggest you do before you get married some things just arnt good enough if you cant have all of the pie.

What I'm saying is you shouldn't ruin your marriage over not knowing what she will and won't do. Lots of people run into this problem because they leave it as a "taboo" topic.