Why Our Kids Need Honest Sex Education, Not Ignorance (Video)

[bp7476]

well as a married couple of 12 yrs and 2 kids both a girl and a boy in school now

the way we look at the whole thing is no matter what anyones take one the issue
it still comes down to the one thing no one can do for you
and that is to choose the route that best fits your family and your kids
and only you will know that no one else.

but ultimately it is your choice as a parent to do the right thing for your kids
so as to build a strong open communicating relationship with your kids
so they will grow into strong and responsible adults.


i do think it is equally important for your kids to know and understand the emotional risks they will deal with as well as the physical ones
so much information on the disease and pregnancy
but nothing on the emotional setbacks it could cause if not chosen to do for the right reasons.

nothing is wrong or right
wisdom comes from the choices we make (whether bad or good)

just our feelings,
thanks,
bryan and pam

[Dan And Jennifer]

Guys, this was such a great topic we did a full live show on it, covering all the different angles - and yes, it's pretty controversial. But this is a topic we're very passionate about.

So what do YOU think? Watch the full segment here...

Sex Education - Who's REALLY Responsible?

[Exavion]

Originally Posted by SnakeBabe

My thoughts are all over the place on this.
I think it’s sad that parents are not educating their kids on sex. They are missing a wonderful opportunity to bond with their children. They are missing a chance to instill the values they hold and on and on.

I agree completely with you on this. If I ever have kids (which to be honest would be surprising) I know I'd teach them everything about sex, when they hit puberty, so I know that they will be safe and secure. To be fair, I don't think a teenager having sex is wrong if they are both well-informed.

---But –
Then I think its better that schools do it to get legit information to the children. Parents these days can be so misinformed. All you have to do is watch an episode of “Cops” or any reality show and see grown ups today that don’t have an ounce of common sense but still parent one child after another.

Well, I sort of disagree with you here. At this point in time, schools are required to have a sex education class, but forgive me if I am wrong, most if not all are required to teach abstinence and even downright lies in order to instill fear, a measure of control.

The parents may not always be perfect, but it is their kids, not anyone else's. Unless they deliberately harm them, it's none of our business.

Originally Posted by bethanysmith

Again, just my view point... but if I were teaching my kids abstinence, I would make sure they knew why. And they would be well-versed about the whole subject.

I'd have a good reason for abstinence, and it would be based on the facts surrounding the entire subject, not based on ignorance. I would want my child to know so much that they might see the value in choosing that. So I guess I wouldn't care if they got detailed sex-ed at school, because I'd have already taught them that at home.

And if all parents got to review sex-ed material at time of registration, there would be no outraged parents showing up picketing at the sex-ed classes.

Abstinence to be fair makes no more sense when you're 30, as it does when you're 14, SO LONG as you are well informed. If so, your risks will not increase or decrease the older you get, so why wait? It's a basic human function that gives tremendous mutual pleasure and intimacy between you and your partner. Why would we consider this bad?

Yes, it's risky, if you don't take the necessary precautions, but beyond that it's no worse than, for say, driving a car.

Originally Posted by Dan And Jennifer

My response to this issue is that if we want our religious and moral preferences instilled in our children's education, then we should send them to a religious based school.

Public school should be independent of any and all religious preferences and should teach the facts about sexuality so that our children can make intelligent decisions about their sexuality based on fact not prejudice.

This is where we as parents have to step up and teach our children the moral standards that we want them to uphold.


--j

Yeah, complications and burdens are the nature of public schooling, which is why I'd only ever home school my kid.

[K. in Cleveland]

You know, I'm really not one for talk shows, but there is one morning talk show I've become a fan of, and that's The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet. Today they had a very interesting debate that I feel goes right along with this quite nicely, though at a different angle completely.

I apologize for not having the title of the book or the authors' (and MDs) names.. if anyone out there saw it and can help, please do... but they argue that when an adolescent has casual sex, the hormones released as well as the dopamine, flood the brain and the neuro pathways, and over time actually destroy the synapses that would cause a love relationship. An adolescent girl who lives and promotes abstinence agrees and says she's saving her wedding night for sex to make it special...

However, another MD says this research was flawed and misconstrued and says that teenagers who have sex are no different from adults who have sex. He also goes on to say that couples who were married in their teens have a much lower divorce rate than couples who marry even in their 20's or older... saying this is proof that sex at a young age does not destroy any neuro pathways or in any way inhibit a person from having a loving relationship. A young lady who began having sex at age 15 agrees with this guy. She says she was not ruined by having casual sex or not able to love now...

Now, my question is, how can schools, or parents, give teenagers "true" info if the doctors can't even agree on it!? But, by the same token, I believe that if kids get educated info both at home and at school, they can decide for themselves what to believe... although this then brings up the question of whether or not that teen is mature enough to make educated decisions for themselves. This is an individual thing, some kids are way more mature than some adults by age 15, others aren't even acting their age at 21... so this is a different matter.
However, it really comes down to the more information (educated information, not "if you have sex before you marry your privates will shrivel up and fall off" type stuff) kids get, the better. I mean, don't parents and schools both teach pre-schoolers and young grade schoolers to treat others as they want to be treated, and to respect others? It sticks better if its hit from multiple places...

[Exavion]

Well, I think it comes down to common sense. When puberty hit, our body changes to accommodate for sex, and that is also one reason why our hormones go crazy and we become interested in the opposite sex.

Now if having sex at a young age (but after puberty) was actually harmful in the long run, why would our bodies encourage us to go for sex? It doesn't make much sense to me. No, I think listening to our own bodies signals is more accurate than some random doctor, at least in this case.

[Brian in Washington]

Well as a sex ed teacher my self. I really think not only should they learn it in school, but also parents should talk to there kids. Since I started teaching High School sex ed, Ive seen how many parents dont talk to there kids about sex ed. Like I'll be talking to my students about something sex related and they dont know what Im talking about. Then when I ask them have they talk to there parents about sex, most of them say no. I have kids come up to me after class, before or after school and come to me asking me for advice, like where can I get tested to STDs. Ive had a couple students need my help tell there parents there pregant. So really my opinion is parents should talk to there kids about sex more.

[Leigh in Alabama]

Ok I have a ton of thoughts on this subject so bear with me.

First of all I think that kids should have Sex Education from BOTH home and school.

Parents, you need to inform yourselves. Be well versed in basic sex education, reproduction, contraception, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, the consequences of being sexually active both emotionally and physically. Talk with your kids "when they hit puberty!" not when they're 16, THEY KNOW IT ALL by then. By then its too late. Educate them first so they can make educated decisions with the morals you have instilled in them.

And Schools. TEACH!!!!! TEACH!!!!! TEACH!!!! Not all parents are going to tell their kids the facts about sex. There needs to be a system to catch those who don't learn at home. First the basics.then into the touchier subjects.

Classes should be taught with pictures, videos, diagrams, statistics, lectures, guest speakers anything and everything to get the information across.

1. The difference in men and women, and their roles in sex.
2. What sex is. Its physical (reproduction) and emotional (relationships) purpose in human society,
(no need to have a "sex" chapter, they can learn positions, timing ext on their own... we are not about to show 12-14 year olds porn!!!)
3. CONTRACEPTION!!!!!!
4. Pregnancy the process.
5. Pregnancy the options. Give birth (keep the child), Give up for adoption, abortion.

LET IT BE KNOWN! when I say abortion education I mean ABORTION education. The different types of abortions, how they work, the concequences and most importantly that you can say NO to ANYONE, YES even your parents. No one can force a minor to have an abortion it IS your choice and ONLY your choice. Dont let anyone bully you into something you dont want to do. You have the legal right to keep your baby AGAINST your parents wishes even if you are a minor.

Now as you can probably tell I am pro life. But I think that in an educational environment that kids should learn about but not be sway'd towards either side.

no Pro life is best, no Abortion is wrong. Just the facts.

JUST THE FACTS

thanks for listening
^_^

[Rachael559]

While it is certainly true no one can force a child to have an abortion ( NOR SHOULD THEY ) the way you phrase that statement is pro-abortion or pro-life IS already swaying them, the term pro-choice in my case is just that. Because of medical complications I can no longer have children, I have a wonderful daughter and I cannot imagine her ever being unwanted, nor can I imagine giving up my child, I absolutely support the right for these young adults to be able to make that choice for themselves, they shouldn't be forced to have an abortion they don't want, but they should never be forced to keep a child they don't want and aren't ready to have.
And just as you say not even a parent should be able to force them to have an abortion, neither should they be forced even by a parent to keep that child.
Just my opinion.

[Leigh in Alabama]

Yes, you're right. Just like no one can force a minor to have an abortion. No one can force them to keep the child either. It is their choice.
But young teens a lot of times don't know that. They're never actually told your parents cant make you.
Thats all I wanted to get across. I have a very close friend who was pressured into an abortion (by her parents), she is now 39 and regrets it to this day. i don't want others to feel the way she did.

[Ed the Pastor]

I remember running headlong into this issue about three years ago. A member of the church youth group came up and asked me a sexually related question -- it involved masturbation and the immedaite thing I did was asked them to ask their parents. They responded that they did and that the parents had asked the child to ask me which I confirmed. With that (I never engage an issue of a sensitive nature with children without parental approval or presence) I went forward and laid out my views on the subject. My view is that if it is done without lust and thus does not violate Jesus commands in Matthew 5 (yes it is possible) then it is OK. Believe it or not I am not the only Christian that holds this view.

The Parents went ballistic. They wanted me to tell the child that it was always wrong. For myself it caused me to change my policy to making sure I talk with the parents first and tell them what I am going to say before I tell the child. I also now ask for the background of the child because it is a factor. In this case a teenage girl who had been sexually abused by her father and was adopted by the parents in question. This makes any sexual question a bomb to be carefully handled -- Live and learn.

1. One thing to think on is that most parents were part of the pervious sexual education system that was terrible so their knowledge is very bad.

2. Most religious people of all types have a very poor understanding of what their religion actually teaches about human sexuality. They often know the don'ts but do not know the dos of sexuality for their religion or where their religion is completely silent. In the example above, the parents were completely oblivious to the fact the Bible actually says nothing about masturbation and that it is actually a matter of conscience even in Chrsitian circles. Their assumption was that if they were against it the Bible must be too.

3. If we are going to educate about sex in schools then I want all the facts laid out. When I was in school the whole condom thing was the issue. Every sex teacher was telling kids that condoms were going to solove all our problems and there was no problems with condomns. BS -- condoms have a failure rate and there was one thing about them that they didn't tell us in school but I found out later with my wife -- they deaden sexual pleasure for the man. At least it did for me. Every birth control method has its pros and cons and they need to be mentioned.

4. Abortion -- fine tell people about it, but I want the cons of it put up as well -- it is not an end all answer either. I don't know how many women I counseled that had an abortion that suffered from depression afterwards (5 to 7 years afterward) but it was a lot and it has physical risks -- tell the girl these things. Some girls went to legit clinics and things go wrong (just because we have moved from the alleys does not mean that they are not still risks to procedures) The full truth and nothing but the truth. Good, Bad and Ugly. I am against abortion but I am not ignorant that people are not going to share this belief, I just want people to be fully informed. Even some feminists are beginning to see there are drawbacks and health risks to abortion.

5. For a parent to truly educate a child on their sexual values they need to be honest about sexuality. I remember when my oldest first asked an intelligent quesiton about sex -- where do babies come from? I gave him an truthful intelligent answer. Why? If you get nabbed lying by you kids about this then they are not going to listen to your values on the subject because they will still think you might be lying. Because of what I did I have always been able to talk to him about any subject including sex -- the same for the other two. Of my three kids two of them have made very firm commitments to not engage in sex until marriage and they have intelligent reasons for doing so based on THEIR OWN convictions. They also have the rest of the knowledge they need as well once they are married. The third one -- well the jury is still out but he knows where I stand and he can't say I kept something from him.

6. The advice to just have a parent send a child to a religious school if they want those values taught may not always be practical ($$$) so some religious allowences should be made. The key word in public school is public and that is also their responsbility. That public includes religious people. They shoud still respect a parent that does not want to have their kid go through the education or avoid certain parts of it. They should be allowed to pull them if that is their wish. Forced education is always lousy anyway. I my case I let my kids have all of it and then discussed it with them at home. I personally think this is the best way.

IMHO