Why Our Kids Need Honest Sex Education, Not Ignorance (Video)

[Dan And Jennifer]

Found a great video on YouTube, produced by a group teenagers, telling us grown-ups how much it sucks that they can't get a straight answer and real sex education from the grown-ups whose responsibility it is to teach them.

They're right, and it's really sad. The whole "teach abstinence only" approach is as flawed and and ignorant as the "dont' ask don't tell", where we all pretend that nobody is actually gay.

Really... it's time for the grown-ups (including the politicians) to get over their hang-ups and teach our children the real truth about sex, what the facts are, so they can make smart, informed choices and practice safe sex.

** Update - This was such a great topic and the discussion below was really great - so we did a full live show on it, covering all the different angles - and yes, it's pretty controversial. But this is a topic we're very passionate about.

So what do YOU think? Watch the full segment here... and check out the great discussion below... then tell us what you think and why.

Sex Education - Who's REALLY Responsible?

[SnakeBabe]

My thoughts are all over the place on this.
I think it’s sad that parents are not educating their kids on sex. They are missing a wonderful opportunity to bond with their children. They are missing a chance to instill the values they hold and on and on.

---But –
Then I think its better that schools do it to get legit information to the children. Parents these days can be so misinformed. All you have to do is watch an episode of “Cops” or any reality show and see grown ups today that don’t have an ounce of common sense but still parent one child after another.

---But-
Do we really want schools teaching our kids something we disagree with? What if I want to encourage abstinence in my child? If the schools telling them differently isn’t that wrong?


I really don’t know which is best.

Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

[The Beautiful Kind]

My daughter is 7. She found my stash of sex toys this year and asked me what they were for. When she was 5 I told her they were door stops and paperweights, but this time I decided that she was old enough to know the truth, so I took a deep breath and explained dildos, vibrators and butt plugs to her.

She was so excited to learn the truth! She lit up and gave me a big hug and said, "This is great mom, I'm learning so much, thank you!" I mean she got that we bonded and that I trusted her with this very special knowledge. I told her she could check it all out herself when she is a teenager, and I also told her not to discuss it at school, just like I tell her not to cuss at school.

I'm glad she knows that pleasure and masturbation are healthy, and that grown ups have toys, too!

[Dan And Jennifer]

Do we really want schools teaching our kids something we disagree with? What if I want to encourage abstinence in my child? If the schools telling them differently isn’t that wrong?

My response to this issue is that if we want our religious and moral preferences instilled in our children's education, then we should send them to a religious based school.

Public school should be independent of any and all religious preferences and should teach the facts about sexuality so that our children can make intelligent decisions about their sexuality based on fact not prejudice.

This is where we as parents have to step up and teach our children the moral standards that we want them to uphold.


--j

[K. in Cleveland]

Having the advantage of not being too far removed from adolescense myself I have some strong feelings on this. The school system I went to was big on the test scores and state rankings, not on actually teaching us anything useful. When I was in 4th grade the class had a field trip to a health museum for sex ed. My mom felt I was too young (also just got out of a religious school) and decided not to sign the slip so I stayed home. (But I got the info from my friends who did attend) She gave me some info, but not much... instead I found information in her text books from college (she's in the medical field) and saw pictures of diseases and descriptions... but the wording was for graduate students, not elementary kids. I was so craving information on the topic of sex that I sneeked peeks at my aunt's magazines (she sold toys with a friend) and strangely felt intrigued at it. By the time I got into high school health class I had gotten so much wrong information from the sources I had, mostly friends at school, that health class wasn't much help.. they barely talked about safety.. just said "Don't do it, but if you are going to, use a condom" never showing us how to use one, or how to properly use them... I got out lucky without getting anything,(though I can say the abstinence only talk didn't help me!) but just the kids I was friends with I knew a number who got some form of STD... this is horrible!

By the time I was a junior there was a movement within the county health department to change things. I became a peer educator and attended biweekly training sessions taught by therapists, doctors, nurses, and sexual health professionals. What a relief to get real, true information. They then had all of us peer educators go to the elementary and middle schools to talk about age-appropriate topics. I think those kids walked away with much better information than we ever got. As far as I know they're still doing the peer education system as well as cirriculum based teaching.

It is important for kids to get the correct information. Parents need to be educated too. I think kids need to get the information from home and school. They're smarter than most people give them credit for, they can make educated decisions for themselves when given credible information.

Sorry for getting long-winded.. I'll step off my soapbox now.

[SHANEOLA]

Sex Ed is just as, if not more, important as the 3 Rs for surviving in todays world. It should be part of earning the diploma. No passing the class- no diploma! If parents have a gripe with that, then they should home school. We do not want to pay for their child's ignorance. Having ignorate graduates is a huge financial burden to all of the nation. For the life of me, I cannot figure out how these parents are associating sexuality with immorality! Especially when an STD can mean their childs death!

What's next? No science in the classroom?
School boards would never ban science or evolution, or would they?! If the extreme right realized how similar their behavior was to the Taliban, maybe they would get a clue! Sometimes it feels like we are all living in that movie Footloose. I hope I don't get stoned for dancing.

[SnakeBabe]

Good job “Beautiful Kind”

If you don’t mind let’s give this argument a run shall we…

Originally Posted by Dan And Jennifer

My response to this issue is that if we want our religious and moral preferences instilled in our children's education, then we should send them to a religious based school…..

A response to this may be that a taxpayer has the right to send their child to the school of their choice. The taxpayer agrees that the school should not teach religion but not teach something that contradicts the individual taxpayer’s faith. Let them teach on STD’s, let them teach on how the “plumbing” works, let them teach on safe sex but keep the rest out. These are essential in the world today. But do not teach pro homosexual or anti-homosexual things, do not teach pro choice or pro life things, you can teach birth control but you do not have to give the kids condoms. That is the area that belong to the parents.

Originally Posted by Dan And Jennifer

…
Public school should be independent of any and all religious preferences and should teach the facts about sexuality so that our children can make intelligent decisions about their sexuality based on fact not prejudice.….

This argument is what facts will be taught?
The religious stance is often that without religion there is no right or wrong thus the increase of violence and sexual activity. Without religion right and wrong are relative. Making the parents concerned with just who’s’ relativism is being taught. If I read the statistics correctly back when religion was in schools crime and unwanted pregnancies were low. Chewing gun was the biggest problem in schools. Have we really bettered our children’s education by removing Christian based morals of right and wrong?


I really don’t know which way is better.
Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria.

[bethanysmith]

Wow! What a great, thought-provoking question.

I don't know the right answer here. I know that if I had kids, I would want to talk to them about sex when I felt like they were ready to hear it... and I would want to talk through safety, respect, emotional health, consequences, pleasure, experimenting, and basically everything with them.

This is just me... but I would rather talk to them myself than to have a teacher educate them. I feel like that's my privilege as a guardian of a child, and it's such an important topic that I don't want it anyone else's hands.

I feel like there should be levels of sex-ed in schools, maybe. Like... a parent can review their sex-ed curriculum as part of the general school material and that helps make their decision.

I don't want my kid to go to a Christian school, because I feel that spirituality is again something I want to talk thoroughly through with my child... but that doesn't mean that I want them to hear about all things considered "non-religious" at school.

So what about all the parents out there who DON'T want to talk about sex? Well... this is where I fumble a bit.

I still believe in the parent's right to raise their child how they want to... for the most part. If a parent's beliefs - whether faith based or simply health based - is to teach abstinence, that right of theirs to parent their child should be protected at school.

Which leads me back to different levels of education. I would love to see parents being able to "approve" many different levels of sex-ed, and choose the appropriate class for their child. Wishful thinking, I'm sure, but most of the way I feel about our public school system is wishful thinking.

But as for honesty, which is the root question... yes. I think all sex-ed should be honest. Whatever the level of disclosure, it should be honest.

And while I think abstinence should always be included as an option, I think it is definitely an injustice to not go into the details of what happens should you decide to have sex.

I feel like I'm going in circles. I'm protective of my rights as a future parent... and yet so aware that some kids don't have parents who care about this area of parenting.

Bethany

[bethanysmith]

Again, just my view point... but if I were teaching my kids abstinence, I would make sure they knew why. And they would be well-versed about the whole subject.

I'd have a good reason for abstinence, and it would be based on the facts surrounding the entire subject, not based on ignorance. I would want my child to know so much that they might see the value in choosing that. So I guess I wouldn't care if they got detailed sex-ed at school, because I'd have already taught them that at home.

And if all parents got to review sex-ed material at time of registration, there would be no outraged parents showing up picketing at the sex-ed classes.

[Rachael559]

Okay where to start on this issue, first let me say I have NOT read any other replies yet. What I do feel is very telling in the numbers. We have taught abstinence in the schools and for the first time in 12 years the number of teen pregnancies is on the rise. Until roughly two years ago the group with the highest number of new HIV positive cases was teen girls. I think we have time and again demonstrated that whenever there is a high level of clear concise and accurate sexual information for our children the number of std's goes down, the number of teen pregnancies goes down, the longer children wait to have sex, and I think truly ultimately the more fulfilling and rewarding their sex lives are when they DO choose to initiate sex. I think the most frustrating thing for my partner, who is a teacher, is to have girls in their early teen years coming up to ask her questions about their bodies because they have had no education, and her very frustratedly coming home screaming about why she is forbidden at times to answer even the simplest questions. I admit that on a few occasions I know she's gone out of her way to do her best to point them in the right direction be it books at the local library or whatever. It's absolutely infuriating, I admit we keep our daughter as fully informed as her mind and heart could possibly want and I do think and feel she's better for it, and hope that through her life it will give her joy. SOOOO long reply but I am VERY passionate about wanting our children to be as informed and safe as they possibly could.