What is Cheating?

[She_Who_Loves]

This is a great thread! I agree with everyone above about the golden rule(s). Cheating to me is doing anything that you wouldn't want your partner to do with you- isn't that the point of partners? To be able to let them know that they are special beloved individuals? and if so then anything that is outside of the boundaries that the two (or more) of you have set up is cheating. What is so shocking about treating people the way you want to be treated?

On the other hand- this is my longest relationship, my only serious one, and the one thing I can give him that no one else has ever had (besides anal sex) is my fidelity.

[waverunner]

Look at it like this - when you married and said "til death do us part" - remember, that "death" does not necessarily mean a physical death, it also means the "death" of the relationship. When the relationship reaches a point of being dead, not love, and you're nothing more than roommates in the same house, and you've tried time and again to save the marriage - you have to give it up. The marriage is DEAD.

Once you have developed the mental ability to wrap your brain around the above, you will find you are a better person and all encounters are as an "estranged spouse" and not a "cheating spouse". You are in the "pre divorce" stage of the marriage. You already acknowledged the marriage is "dead" and it is a matter of time (like kids graduating high school, finances, etc.) before to make the "death" of the marriage official in the eyes of the church and/or government.

Best Wishes!!

[Grimmancer]

Cheating -
It truly depends on the situation, swingers do not cheat they swing and all is good that is why I love Dan and Jen vid about this because it summed it up so very well....
If you are doing something with another person that you would not do if your partner was standing near you then that is cheating,
Porn is not cheating, writing intimate love notes to a friend on line is, RP on line with no emotions is not cheating, as long as its in the open if its a secret then its cheating I think. I would rather have my girl have sex with a stranger once then kiss a friend several times... sex is sex intimacy is different.
I had a debate with a woman I work with and she claimed her man cheated on her cause he went to a go go bar, now mind you a go go bar is not even topless here, its just woman dancing in basically a bra and panties, you cant touch them, you cant kiss them you can only look at them, but yet every Sat night when we with a few friends go out she dirty dances with any man she can find, rubs up against them, she even finds humor in trying to get them hard while they are dancing but yet she thinks go go dancers are sluts and she is not. I told her that she is worse than a man that goes to a go go bar and much more of a whore than any go go dancer I ever met, needless to say she did not like that but I know I am right.

[Jesica]

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