Is this counted as cheating

[rob]

Originally Posted by rocky69

but i know im not lying we all do cause im innocent and the only reason is because im too attached to her fam and friends. Ive known her sister for longer than i known my girlfriend and she trusts me with her because im such a decent guy so allowed us to go out and imagine knowing this...i know i aint the bad guy here so since nothing was meant and i didnt have any feelings or anything its basically nothing 2 me...im just going to scrunch this memory and throw it away..i know i feel the guilt not tellin her but at the same time i shouldnt for more of the right reasons...she doesnt deserve to feel the pain so ill keep it in myself copping the pain myself and getting over it...i can do it

You are lying; that's my whole point. That's why you're cheating.
You aren't lying directly, but you're pretending everything is fine. It isn't Don't be afraid to tell her, there's no pain to spare her anyway; you're not breaking up, and you haven't cheated on her again. Have you?

[rocky69]

Originally Posted by rob

You are lying; that's my whole point. That's why you're cheating.
You aren't lying directly, but you're pretending everything is fine. It isn't Don't be afraid to tell her, there's no pain to spare her anyway; you're not breaking up, and you haven't cheated on her again. Have you?

ok listen i have no lied to her because i am keeping the pain away from her and going to forget this all happened

i even prayed to God and in that prayer i promised to God, to my girlfriend and on our relationship that anything like this will not happen again!

The whole point of this mistake looking at it deeply was because i was too much of a "pussy" and i need to grow some balls (excuse the language but no easier way to say it) i need to stand up for myself more. and i am going to keep this mistake to myself and improve on my courage for my girlfriend. I already started today when i saw her.

i will never fall for this type of mistake again and i talked it through wif my best mate and she say it aint cheating and agrees not to tell my girlfriend because of the reasons of losing respect and trust from her and the family n friends who i am tight with

[rob]

I don't mean to go on, but you aren't keeping the pain away from her. As you said, you prayed to God that to say you wouldn't make that mistake again. It's affecting your behaviour. She'll notice.
Also, if you aren't telling her about this time, then what's to stop you cheating again and not saying. You'll be amazed how easy it is to break a promise that you promised to yourself.

And her friends and family don't need to know; you weren't cheating on them. You won't lose their respect if they don't know.
And what better way to improve courage than to tell her?
In your first post you said you hoped it wasn't cheating, but you seem to be doing everything you can to avoid stopping it being cheating. Beagle and Scarbowl said to tell her, Dan and Jennifer say communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Their definition of cheating, a breaking of trust, applies here too. If you really don't want it to be cheating then swallow your pride and tell her. If you really are scared that she'll break up with you/tell her parents and that they'll lose respect for you etc then how has your relationship lasted this long; if you don't trust her enough to keep a secret which you are genuinely sorry about?

However, it is down to you in the end. Just think about what we've said.

[rocky69]

Originally Posted by rob

I don't mean to go on, but you aren't keeping the pain away from her. As you said, you prayed to God that to say you wouldn't make that mistake again. It's affecting your behaviour. She'll notice.
Also, if you aren't telling her about this time, then what's to stop you cheating again and not saying. You'll be amazed how easy it is to break a promise that you promised to yourself.

And her friends and family don't need to know; you weren't cheating on them. You won't lose their respect if they don't know.
And what better way to improve courage than to tell her?
In your first post you said you hoped it wasn't cheating, but you seem to be doing everything you can to avoid stopping it being cheating. Beagle and Scarbowl said to tell her, Dan and Jennifer say communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Their definition of cheating, a breaking of trust, applies here too. If you really don't want it to be cheating then swallow your pride and tell her. If you really are scared that she'll break up with you/tell her parents and that they'll lose respect for you etc then how has your relationship lasted this long; if you don't trust her enough to keep a secret which you are genuinely sorry about?

However, it is down to you in the end. Just think about what we've said.

rob ur absolutely right but im soooo scared...like i have never been this scared...and i know the words will get spread around her fam and friends cause she tells them everything. Like i look into their eyes and notice how happy we are all getting along and i cant do this to them...hurt them n stuff but realli its so hard...and u do know that..its almost our 4th month in 5 days and i dont wanna hurt anyone i wna keep the pain in myself. Basically its a mistake onli i may keep inside that will improve me to be a better boyfriend

[rob]

Ok then, best wishes.
I hope your relationship lasts.

[rocky69]

look i wrote a full confession for my girlfriend about the situation and im just so scared i will lose her now

do you guys think she will leave me after an unintentional mistake? becasue i am thinking of telling her now

[rob]

She shouldn't-not if she loves you.
As you said, it was unintentional. She can't blame you for that. In fact, the very fact that you're telling her (not to mention the two pages in this forum) proves to me at least that you are genuinely sorry.

[rocky69]

omg guys i owe u all heaps

i told my girlfriend and understood straight away...forgave me and everything seems normal...but not 100% jst let her overcome it a bit give it some days but thank u all...I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON MY GIRLFRIEND

NEVA WILL AND NEVER DID!

[stroker ace]

If you kiss touch or flirt you ARE CHEATING!

[pinkapple]

Good thing you confessed to her. Because if I was your girlfriend and found out about that from others, then I'll definitely regard to it as cheating. Congratulations buddy, you overcame the trial and emerged with your integrity intact.