Is this counted as cheating

[rocky69]

hello dan and jenn

i have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 months and i love her soooooo much its unbelievable. But my friends sister said she had feelings ages ago for me before me and my girlfriend went out. I don't know what happened to those feelings but then one day she was rubbing my arms...legs...and even planted kisses on me on my lips... i wanted to pull away but it was her that didnt, she was to weak and kept going. I didn't have any intentions or feelings for the kiss or even for her. i actually left my friends place early and did everything possible to keep away from her. i told her straight i dont want this happening again. i love my girlfriend so very much and want to spend the rest of my life with her and i was wondering if this could be considered as cheating. Since i had no feelings for her or the kiss. If it is counted as cheating, i could not tell her or else she cant look at me the same. Please i really hope its not counted as cheating i love her so much. She was the one who led it..seduced me if that is the so called definition but i tried pulling back but didnt work according to her. She said the kiss meant nothing to her later on and obviously meant nothing to me either so why are we worrying. Plus i dont think i should tell her because im so attached to her fam and friends and words will get spread making me out to be the bad guy. But is it counted as lying...is this counted as cheating? i really hope it isnt Please help

[rob]

Depends. Did you tell your girlfriend?
If not, it is cheating.
If you did, then it isn't.

[rocky69]

well im too scared to tell her

im too attached to her family and her friends and if i tell her she may break up or even spread the word and i may seem like the bad guy to her friend and familys eyes and i dont want that to happen...

plus how is it cheating if i didnt intend it...i didnt have any feelings or intensions in the situation

also to make it not cheating llike i already done i told the girl to back off and leave me alone and never happen again...tru?

[Beagle]

Cheating is a condition which occurs when two people have declared an exclusive relationship. Once that is the case, anything you don't want the other person to know about would be defined as "cheating." So, yes.

By the way, trying to get away from her is an excuse. Don't tell me you couldn't stop a girl from touching and kissing you.

I think the key issue here is integrity. If you give someone a promise, keep it. If you want to do things with another person, then man up and tell your girlfriend that you want a non-exclusive relationship. If not, then keep your promise to her. That means don't do anything with a girl that you wouldn't do if she was in the room. Otherwise, tell your girlfriend that it's no longer an exclusive relationship.

[rocky69]

but i dont want nothing to do wif that woman i dont like her and lets jst say i need to grow balls

and i want to stay and spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend people say it is cheaitng and people say it isnt

its a wierd situation but yer im jst going to forgot about it and move on cause i know i didnt intend it and i kno i love my girlfriend so very very much

[scarbowl]

So then what if this girl tells your girlfriend about it. Then your girlfriend asks you "if it was so innocent or you felt badly about it why didn't you tell me?"

What do you say?

[rocky69]

well since she doesnt know my girlfriend onli OF her...they dont speak at all

and ill just say im too scared and worried to lose her...

if i do tell her it will be a load of my chest but at the same time lose respect from her fam n friends and especially my girlfriend...i dont know if she wil look at me the same no more

i think to myself...look everyone makes mistakes and i didnt intend to do it...im just going to let it drift off and forget it ever happened cause i know my girlfriend is the one for me and i want to spend the rest of my life with her and i know it..she knows it

[Beagle]

I'm not sure telling her is the best thing either. THat's a decision only you can make. i do think you need to take responsibility for your actions though. Saying you didn't intend for it to happen is a cop-out.

I once saw a police report where a driver stated that a telephone pole struck her car. In this case, you made a choice to allow the other girl to do certain things with you. You need to take responsibility from that choice and learn from it.

Best wishes.

[rob]

Originally Posted by rocky69

well im too scared to tell her

im too attached to her family and her friends and if i tell her she may break up or even spread the word and i may seem like the bad guy to her friend and familys eyes and i dont want that to happen...

plus how is it cheating if i didnt intend it...i didnt have any feelings or intensions in the situation

also to make it not cheating llike i already done i told the girl to back off and leave me alone and never happen again...tru?

Look, she's probably going to find out sometime, or even figure it out on her own (why've you been acting guilty etc) so the best way would just be to tell her.
If she loves you,. and you honestly believe that it isn't cheating, then tell her.

The only surefire way to lose respect is to lie and that's what you're doing. Lying.

[rocky69]

Originally Posted by rob

Look, she's probably going to find out sometime, or even figure it out on her own (why've you been acting guilty etc) so the best way would just be to tell her.
If she loves you,. and you honestly believe that it isn't cheating, then tell her.

The only surefire way to lose respect is to lie and that's what you're doing. Lying.

but i know im not lying we all do cause im innocent and the only reason is because im too attached to her fam and friends. Ive known her sister for longer than i known my girlfriend and she trusts me with her because im such a decent guy so allowed us to go out and imagine knowing this...i know i aint the bad guy here so since nothing was meant and i didnt have any feelings or anything its basically nothing 2 me...im just going to scrunch this memory and throw it away..i know i feel the guilt not tellin her but at the same time i shouldnt for more of the right reasons...she doesnt deserve to feel the pain so ill keep it in myself copping the pain myself and getting over it...i can do it