we're both in good relationships, so why are we having an affair?

[heartinatlantis]

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and for the most part its been a good relationship - just the usual bumps and bruises. Recently, I started having an affair with a friends to both of us, who is also in a committed relationship for over a year. I don't want to leave my boyfriend and he doesn't want to leave his girlfriend - and we are both open with each other about it - but we have an intense sexual chemistry.
Honestly, neither of us want to hurt anyone and we know its wrong, but neither of us want to stop sleeping with each other.
If we're happy with the relationship we're in, why are we having an affair?
And if we can't stop, how do we keep from getting caught?

[Xero]

Doing this is going to hurt both of you and both of your relationships in the end. If you keep living the lie you are digging the hole deeper and deeper each time.

I think the reason you both are doing this is because your lacking something in your relationship. That seems to be chemistry, so you both need to fix that in your relationship. The only way to be not guilty of it any more would to be confessing which would be terrible for the both of you. But that's the position you put your selves in.

There isn't really a way to keep from getting caught. Some time some day something is going to happen where it's going to come out and be ugly.

I also noticed you didn't talk about your relationship much at all. Just some bumps here and there. What might those be, that could also be why you are cheating on your partner.

My best advice would be to stop seeing this 3rd party and go back to your relationship and fix the issues with it. Your only hurting your self and your partner. Plus the other relationship you are with.

I'm sorry for this post if it seems offensive.

[theresa]

so why pick someone so close to your man?why pick someone in a relationship?and do you really think it only affects your man?how about his family (im sure they love you too),the other mans family,his wifes family,his wife,and any friendship existing between any of these parties is forever ruined.....DO NOT SAY YOU DONT WANT TO HURT ANYONE AND IN THE SAME BREATH SAY YOU DONT WANT TO STOP.you cant have both....if you dont want to hurt anybody...then stop....but do not think for one second you can hope someone with any integrity will give you poiters on how not to get caught.im sure you never meant to be a person who sneaks around on a trusting partner and makes it worse by the person being his friend....but you are now .if you continue to do this then the only answer is you like the danger of the act and the possibilty of hurting him is subconsciously exciting to you.....you win no brownie points for having regrets....even a manster has regrets......get your life in order or one day this will bite you on the ass in a way you never saw coming