I've been with him for almost 2 years and we have a baby...

[firewhiskeyangel]

This coming up November, we will be together for 2 years, but I fear that we won't make it there for several major reason, that I just can't deal with any longer.

It all start when we first got together in November 2006. He and I met in the Army, and for me at least, it was love at first sight. He was everything I found I wanted in a man and so much more. I even gave up living in my home state of Maine, to move with him to Louisiana. But I've been misrable ever since I moved here.

When we first got together, he told me he had just got out of a bad relationship with a young girl, whom he was engaged to, and she cheated on him repeatly. He even told me about a time where he walked in on her in the bed with another man. It was obvious to me that he had had his heart broken by her. So I connected with him, and I understood.

Well after he went back home from the base we met and got together at, (he went home on temperary leave, before he shipped out to Germany), I tired calling his phone several times in the next couple of weeks and his phone would either be off, or he would press the ignore button, or would just ignore my calls all together.

I started taking the hint that maybe he was cheating, especially after talking to his mother, and she even told me she heard he was hanging out with her, and she even caught him with her at her grandfather's house at one time! The funny part is when I got in contact with him after hearing about this (he didn't know at the moment that I found out about that) so he tired to tell me his mother, went nuts and drove out to the country to his "friend's" house and wouldn't leave until he at least talked to her, after he tired telling me that fabricated story, I knew something was up. That's when I asked him if this friend was his so called "ex" girlfriend, and did the grandfather's house that was "out in the country" consist of a house just off a street in downtown? He stumped and obviously didn't know what to say, that's when I asked him if he was cheating on me with his "ex". He denied everything, obviously!

Well it wasn't until I went on my leave and joined him in Louisiana, that his "ex" contacted me and told me that he did infact cheat on me, that he had been doing it for over a month behind my back, and that she was even with him, a couple of weeks before I moved down to Louisiana!

So I asked him again, and he still lied about it. Even his friends covered for him at first!

Then he went to Germany, and I was in Louisiana, being the good fiance' and waiting for him. I was still on his side and believed him when he said he never did that.

That was until his best friend, who was completely smashed/drunk, slipped up and told me what really happened.

His best friend, confessed to me that he started cheating on me the very same night he came home on his leave (before I moved down here and before he went to Germany)! This is the same day that he kissed me goodbye, told me he loved me, and wanted to be with me and wanted me to be with him, then that night he went and slept with his supposite ex girlfriend/fiance'!

I was heartbroken, devasted, and I couldn't even think straight.

So once I got home I called his cell phone he had with him in Germany and told him to call me asap.

I got a phone call the next afternoon from him (after his duties were done), and I confronted him with it. I told him this was his last chance to come clean, or else I was gone. That's when he partly admitted to it. He said at first it was one time and it was that night when he first come home on leave, and he was really messed up when he did it. And when I called BS on him and told him about the other times I knew of he, he got really quiet and after a few moments, started apologizing.

(I should let you know I called his ex and apologized to her for calling her names, and fighting with her because I didn't believe her/didn't want to believe her. Right after I found out. And her and I talked for 3 hours that night and she came clean on everything was very patient with me through it all.)

Well, even after that I stayed, and we fought CONSTANTLY. I think I have never fully trusted him again after that. And I know that when I stayed, it was almost like I was allowing it to happen again, but unless you love someone so much that you would give anything for, and with no reguard, you won't understand why I did.

Well soon after, he came home from Germany for good, and soon after, I became pregnant with our son.

I gave birth to our son, on fat tuesday, Feb. 5th 2008. And it was right before I gave birth, that he started talking to this girl he was working with. At first, I honestly thought nothing of it, and I was starting to feel I could trust him again. Then a few weeks after the birth, I start noticing her number on our caller ID while I was at work, and when I would hit the re-dial button, it would be her number. So they were talking when I was at work. I even caught him talking to her when he thought I was sleeping, (he called her), And I noticed that he was talking to her better than how he would talk to me, and even how he talked to me when we first got together. I started getting that feeling again, like I did when he was cheating with his ex about a year earlier.

The phone calls kept happening mostly when I wasn't around, only when I was working, or when I was sleeping.

One day I noticed I missed his call from work so I called him back, his manager told me that he was on his lunch break and he was hanging out with the girl in the back of the parking lot in her car. I was livid. When he went outside to get him, and he finally answered the phone, I asked him what was he doing, and he told me he was on his lunch break and was just hanging out outside because he had nothing better to do. I quickly called him out on his lie, and again he was stumped.

I asked him if the girl was even working and in his confusion he accidently let it slip up that it was her day OFF! But then tired to say she was coming in at 3pm for extra hours, because they were short handed. His lunch break was at 1pm! So when I asked him why she was 2 hours early, and hanging out with him in her car in the back of the parking lot on his lunch break, he never came up with an answer.

He just said that I was taking it all wrong, and they were friends. I hung up on him.

Then her cell number pops up on my phone, and I was mad so I didn't answer it, I wasn't about to fight with her.

Then his work number calls a couple mins later, and I answered it. I asked him why did she just try to call me and he said he borrowed her phone. Which I still believe was BS.

Well after that, I came home from work one night, and I had a feeling I needed to check my history. So I did, and I was shocked. I found he was on her myspace looking at her pictures, and one of them was just a breast shot, and the other was just a butt shot. That's it. I was completely floored, I basically caught him checking her out!

Then he lied and said I was acting nuts and that it was just "pictures" he was never checking her out, in the slightest.

Well a few months later (because I stupidly forgave him again) He starts lying to his friends about me, causes them to literally gang up on me and have them scream at me and accuse me of things that aren't true, (that I'm being a b*tch, and that I talked about about them badly, ect) to the point I'm crying, and I had nobody on my side to even help defend me accept a neighbor who didn't know me, but because as she's witnessing this and witnessing him laughing, she felt bad, knew something was up, and told everyone to lay off me.

What's bad is that I was suffering post partum depression and neither he nor his friends at the time cared.

He was cold and distant towards me, and had the nerve to tell me, that he was partly falling out of love with me, and that I was basically a b*tch, and he wouldn't even tell me he loved me! Then told me that he was thinking about leaving me. But once I thought about it, I think this was his way of lashing out for me catching him trying to cheat on me with that co-worker.

Then about a month and a half ago, he was getting chummy with his ex gf again. Yes the same one he cheated on me with, and it turned really bad.

----------------- I'll continue in the next post... ----------

[firewhiskeyangel]

---------Continued where I left off ------------------

Turns out, she caught him on video this time. He was grabbing at her boobs, and even trying to in my opinon maybe kiss her before I walked through the door. She even told me, he told her, that I was treating him like a dog, he had to do everything I wanted or else, he had no money because of me, and he was afraid that if he left me like he wants to, that I would never let him see his child again! He even told her, that he thinks it was a mistake to get with me, that they should have been together and been married and had a baby. Not me and him! That everything we ever did was pretty much a mistake!

He denied everything of course, and even said that she was the one saying things about "what if we stayed together" and blah blah blah. He even tired to argue the videos I saw of him.

Now here's the kicker, I work, he doesn't. I bring in the money, and pay the bills. He doesn't. He has no job whatsoever. I have even fallen behind on my bills, and I'm $900 behind on car insurance, because of him!!

I'm lost and I don't know what to do. I told him recently, that I'm not feeling the same anymore, and that if this is how it's gonna be with him, then I can't do it anymore.

To be honest, if he and I broke up, I wouldn't even cry. I didn't even cry, after watching those videos and hearing what she told me! It was like I didn't even care.

I'm stuck, we have a beautiful baby, and I want to care, but in one way I don't care about this relationship anymore. I love him, but I'm also numb to it. I want to leave but then again I don't.

I don't know what to do anymore, and I need advice, other than, "leave his sorry a$$!"

Sorry it was long, but I had to get this off my chest!

Help!

[ferguson]

I am truly sorry to hear that, and I hope I am not too late to share the pain with you.

I am no one to guide you through this, but I hope what I am going to say will give you the courage to move on.

Right now, you really need your family, your parents, your relatives, share this pain with them, they are the ones that will never leave you, and support you to the end.

I know he is everything to you, but think twice, is this what you want? You want to keep this relationship because you want your baby to have a father, but do you think having such a father is a better thing than not having a father at all?

Deep in your heart, you must be telling yourself that he would change one day, that is the decision you have to make today. Do you want to risk the rest of your life with this person, or do you want to start over with your baby.

True, your baby will always reminds me of him, but your baby will know who loved him/her the most, and that is the thing you should treasure.

Walk on, bravely. The US Army trained you not just to be a tool for war, its trained you to become a tougher person.

Here's a song that I hope would help you through your tough times.

When you walk through a storm.
Hold your head up high.
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm, is a golden sky.
And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind.
Walk on through the rain.
Though your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on walk on, with hope in your heart.
And you'll never walk alone.
You'll never walk alone.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ma3Nax8yyOE

Take care.

[Roxanne in Cali]

When I was 2 months PG with my daughter I found out her father was cheating on me the whole time I was with him. At the time I was 19. I had just moved away with him when he came clean about what he had been doing. I left him while I was 3 months PG. I am now 22 and raising a beautiful little girl alone. I found out not to long ago that he married one of the other woman. If I had to do everything over again I wouldn't change a thing. Maybe I'd of cut him out completely before she was even born. But hes really not in her life too much anyhow. If I were you I'd leave him. before fore he hurts you even more then he already has.