A new woman

[Kalim]

So Hi I'm new here!

I am 30 and I haven't ever really dated. Sure I have had women but only thing Ive done is a whole lot of sex. Currently I have a woman of my own that's a virgin and she claims that she will stay that way until marriage. She wouldn't be my normal pick for what Id want in a woman however I am now a father and Ive batted away a lot of women because I see flaws that I do not want around my son. My current woman is awesome with children and being a teacher there is so much my son can gain. I figured I would give this one a try.

Here I am past the second date wondering what I can do. I'm trying to go slow like she wants and I'm avoiding everything that I would normally do. She has already complained that I haven't kissed her however she is the one that wanted it slow. So how does "sloooow dating" go anyway? How can I maintain interest in her without sex being there to bring me close. Last date I found myself staring out the window while she was talking... I know for sure that is bad.

So help ! Any idea's on what I can do with my new woman. Movies are ok but one can only handle so many of those. Next date I'm thinking of doing the swimming thing. But slow being the point and how am I to know exactly what slow is. Bleh.

Thanks for your time!
I look forward to seeing what help I can get.

[ShesInCleveland]

Taking things slow is hard, especially if you're used to life in the fast lane.

Plan activities that keep you interested. If movies are out, just do simple things like taking a walk together. Making dinner. And not just easy mac. Make a day of it. Pick a recipe, find a farmer's market, start from scratch. Pair wines. Candles. The whole shebang. Or just drive. Go exploring. I dont know. There are a million things to do that are worth doing if its with someone you enjoy.

To keep yourself entertained, you probably need to storyline ideas in your head. "If I did this...what would she do?" Like if you just brushed her wrist with your fingertips and slipped her one of those sultry looks, how would she respond? How would it feel to her? How does it make you feel to make her feel that way? Take the simplest touch and expand on it in your mind. Sex is fun. But the road leading up to sex, the game, that is, is just as important.

Corny --
But its not the destination, its the journey.

[Prelude2Fear]

Hey man just to let you know sex is everything that has to accur within a relationship! You really need to have sex with someone to be in love with them? You should just be happy that your with her, and happy that she wants you around, sex is the root of all evil in relationship. If you focus all your relationships with woman on just sex you will just be unhappy in the end.

[Kalim]

Really? Ive always been happy with relationships that were just sex. No worries about entertaining no what are we going to do tonight... Zero pressure and its always fun. I don't believe I have ever got bored with that. Other than that of making breakfast in the morning and heart shape pancakes seem to go over well ;-).

However I feel the need to slow things down not just for me but because I am a father and I believe in my own mind that I shouldn't be dating anyone that isn't good for my child. This one just seems to want to put a stop sign up :-). Its fine of course however I have never had to think about what to do at all.

At the moment I have emailed two towns close around the small town that she lives in for their idea's on what their town can offer for such an event. I do however feel that I might be out of my own league with this one. Time will tell. She isn't to far from me but I never go to the towns were she resides.

[ShesInCleveland]

Oh. Well.
Why not just find someone decent to have sex with? She doesnt need that spectacular resume (teacher, "Good Girl" image, whatever).

Your son just needs to see you in a relationship built on mutual respect.

[Kalim]

Originally Posted by ShesInCleveland

Oh. Well.
Why not just find someone decent to have sex with? She doesnt need that spectacular resume (teacher, "Good Girl" image, whatever).

Your son just needs to see you in a relationship built on mutual respect.

Respect and honesty is what I have based all relationships on. If there is no trust there is nothing at all. If you cant tell them the truth then they are not worth having. When the relationship advances I will have to tell her my fears. One of my fears about dating such a woman is that if I actually do have to "wait" for marriage I must know that sex will be a major part of it. I can't seem to go a long time without it. However I will explore it for now. To see what the other side of this coin is like.

There is always the option of cheating a past woman has offered to fill that gap for me while I date my current woman. I don't believe I could ever bring myself to do that though. Again my own morals prevent me from doing it. If I cant be happy with the woman I am with then I shouldn't be with her. So for now it's one big exploration into a zone of which I am not used to but I'm sure like everything else it could be fun and enjoyable.