single woman dating again after 2 yr relationship, any advice?

[Heather]

Hey, I'm back on the dating scene after ending an almost 2 year relationship. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. The only other relationship I've had was for a month with a really strange guy, so I don't have a lot of experience. Is it okay to start dating again after 3 months of being single? I'm definately ready. We've both fooled around with other people, so that should mean that it's okay. We're still good friends and both seem over the breakup, although he may still like me. I'm really excited about dating again.


I'm would like some advice about the following things:
How to know if someone is interested in me
How to show I'm interested
How to turn someone down
How to open up, because I'm really shy
Any random advice

Thanks!

[lisaq]

Well, that whole "we've both fooled around so it should be okay" thing concerns me a bit, but that may be a whole 'nother thread.

You said you seem over it. Be sure you are. You don't want to carry any residual crap into a new relationship or even into dating. Makes for a bad combo...

You've asked for a lot of different things here so I hope I can address them all! First of all, it doesn't seem that difficult to me to know when someone is interested in me, but I know that not everyone picks up on it. Pay attention to things like body language, eye contact, his responses to the things you say, etc. If he leans in toward you, smiles and/or laughs at things you say, and is intrigued by your comments, there's a good chance he's interested. You can show your interest in the same ways.

Turning someone down can be tricky and I'll be honest enough to tell you it's not up there on the list of things I do best. That being said, it's best to be honest. If there's no chemistry or attraction, be up front enough to say so. If someone asks you out, you are not obliged to go and if you'd rather not, be tactful and honest, but just say so. Making an excuse or putting him off really isn't fair.

Opening up is really something you'll have to work your way into I think...one of those practice makes perfect things. Begin with conversations and situations that you feel comfortable in. Don't assume that the other person won't like you if you open up or won't be interested in what you have to say. Challenge yourself. Practice putting yourself in situations that usually make you uncomfortable such as parties or being in large groups of people. Repeated exposure will help raise your comfort level.

Hope I've been helpful!

[Kalim]

Best way to show interest is to show up at my door and say I'm here! :-)

[Kalim]

How to know if someone is interested in me
How to show I'm interested
How to turn someone down
How to open up, because I'm really shy
Any random advice


1) if a man is interested he will let you know. Some might be not to vocal about it but it will happen.

2) do whatever you want? Ive always been fond of a woman yelling " Get in here " while they are in the bedroom. :-) but that is just me. I'm sure its not to hard to flirt as a woman.

3) ... be like I'm sorry but I don't date ugly... er Just kidding always good to be nice and say something nice if you don't like them anyway.. takes some guts from a man to ask a woman out and its best if you can find a way to let them off easy.

4) a man will crack you open... If he really likes you he will get you out of that shell that you hide in. Im sure if he is worth his salt he will find something to compliment you on. Or just say Im a bit shy and leave it to him to work you over :-)

5) random advice!! Oh baby so much I could give on that one but I think I will stop with what Ive said :-) try not to go on and on about how much you line anime if you actually do like such things... listen and converse... leave em hanging a bit and wanting more. :-)

[cukrik]

Good advice Kalim!