No luck with women... Am I doing something wrong?

[Clint]

For some reason, I can never seem to get anywhere with women. I get told more often than not that I'm too nice, that I'm too good of a friend to lose, and so on. I have to wonder, am I really too nice? Is being considerate, polite, helpful, mature, and intelligent what's really keeping me back? Should I take the route of the average man, withholding my advice and compliments, offering instead crude sexual comments and insults? Something needs to be done, but I don't think abandoning my morals is the solution. Is there a way that I can be desirable to women without being a jerk?

[brbrhej]

Oh dear...absolutely be who you are...abd do not thinkk that women fall on jerks. At least I am one of those women who hates jerks and looks ofr a nice guy.
And about if you are doing something wrong? hm...well to answer this I will need to know more about you, yput atitudes, your age, your way of thinking about love, romanc and yourself..and I guess bringing one example would be really helpfull to understand more...
In any case, the most important thing is to be who you are! Finally we all want to be loved for who we really are, aren"t we?
Tis is what I could answer you.
Barb

[modernsavage]

Clint,

To answer your question, yes, you are doing something wrong. Either that, there is something that you aren't doing at all. From the looks of it, you are stuck on the whole "nice guys vs. jerks" thing. This by the way is a totally messed up way of thinking, it's not about being nice or being jerk. Take a look at this post for a good example:
What Nice Guys Need to Know

Let me ask you, do you buy girls drinks? do you buy them flowers? do you take them out to fancy restaurants? If girl asks you for a favor, would you drop everything just to do something for her? do you always agree with a woman's point of view? do you treat women like princesses?

Listen, it's not that you have to be a jerk to attract women, in fact that will only make things worse. However, what you don't want to be is a push-over. You don't want to put the woman up on a pedestal. Instead, you need to put yourself up on a pedestal. You need to raise your own value.

I know it may go against your grain. You were probably raised to treat women in the way you do now. Forget about that stuff for now and start thinking about yourself. Seems a bit selfish right? Absolutely.

So what do you do? Don't listen to the "just be yourself" advice, it's the worst advice ever invented. There's a saying, "To continue doing the same things over and over and expecting different results is insanity." Start improving yourself, making your life better, raising your value. Start making your own decisions, don't be a push-over, speak your mind. Don't be afraid to drop a woman who walks all over you. I suppose when all is said and done, what you really need is a pair of balls.

This might not sit well with you but I hope it was at least helpful.

Regards

[Clint]

Thanks man.

That was actually the best advice I've ever received in that regard!

And, I can't really buy women drinks, I'm only 18 after all.

But I understand what you're saying about the pushover thing. Unfortunately I was raised to be a woman pleaser and a turn-the-other-cheek kind of guy. And, I have let girls walk all over me in the past.

If I can drop the teachings of my used-to-be religion, then I can definitely learn to be assertive.

[modernsavage]

No problem. You're still pretty young so at least this is something you are aware of and trying to fix now. You don't want to be one of those guys who ends up a 40 year old virgin and wasted half their life.

Stick to it and take baby steps. If you focus on consistent self improvement, you can't lose.