girls - how do i get confidence?

[Brett]

how do i get confidence?

[Dan And Jennifer]

Confidence is something that comes in time - I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's part experience and part growth and evolution...

At it's root is the acceptance of yourself as "OK the way you are" and truly coming to peace with yourself. It's' OK to appreciate, accept, and love youreself. In fact, it's a pretty crucial step. Our culture is pretty bad about that, but thankfully that's changing these days.

Here's something to get you thinking in that direction...

How to Get Over Shyness & Fear of Rejection to Get the Girl

And this one (it's older, but this stuff is timeless):

Is Shyness Keeping You From the Girl Of Your Dreams?

[Brett]

i find it hard to belive in myself coz it fear of rejection and also i don,t think im good enough for a woman

[Brett]

i know but when u have never had a girlfriend its hard to feel good about urself coz u think there is something wrong and also i find it very hard to relax.

[modernsavage]

Fear of rejection is common amongst many men, so it's not just you. You know the best way to solve this? Go out and get rejected. I'm not kidding. Go out and purposely get rejected, just ask any girl you find attractive out and see what happens.

Once you've been rejected a few times, you'll realize that it's not a big deal and there is nothing to be afraid of.

If you don't think you are good enough for women, then what would make you good enough? Maybe you should start working on aspects of your life that will improve it so that you will think you are good enough for women.

Write down a list of things that you don't like about yourself. Then write down a list of things that will improve on those things. Then, go out and do them!

[Brett]

trouble is im always trying to be somebody im not and im shy that bad which sometimes i feel im imprisoned by it

[modernsavage]

Brett,

The REAL trouble is that you keep making all these excuses for yourself. You need a good kick in the pants. Stop all this bitching about these excuses of why you are not confident or why can't get girls.

Listen, when you create these excuses, whether it's because you think you are shy, scared, have anxiety or whatever it is, you are automatically destined to fail. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. If you constantly create reasons of why you can't succeed with women, then you won't bother trying and of course you will fail.

Perhaps you should work on changing the way you think first before even trying to attract girls. I can't imagine anyone who would date someone who doesn't respect their own self.

There's more than enough advice on this website to help you out with attracting and dating women. I suggest you stop all this whining and get to work on thinking about who you are and who you want to become.

[Brett]

thought u guys were here to help

[Dan And Jennifer]

Originally Posted by modernsavage

The REAL trouble is that you keep making all these excuses for yourself. Stop all this bitching about these excuses of why you are not confident or why can't get girls.

Listen, when you create these excuses, whether it's because you think you are shy, scared, have anxiety or whatever it is, you are automatically destined to fail. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. If you constantly create reasons of why you can't succeed with women, then you won't bother trying and of course you will fail.

Perhaps you should work on changing the way you think first before even trying to attract girls. I can't imagine anyone who would date someone who doesn't respect their own self.

There's more than enough advice on this website to help you out with attracting and dating women. I suggest you stop all this whining and get to work on thinking about who you are and who you want to become.

Well said Matt.

Brett, Dan here. I saw your follow on comment, and yes we're definitely all here to help - that's why we're here talking about this with you.

Don't misunderstand Modern Savage's firm approach here. That really is the best advice for you right now, there's no way for anyone else to fix or change this for you, all we can do is point the way for you to take.

I know it's hard to hear or accept that you have control or responsibility for a situation that's not going as you'd like. But realistically it's a good thing; it means that fixing it is within your power.

I'd like to share one of my favorite quotes with you:

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours".

The concept here is that whatever you focus on grows, that's just an interesting fact of life. And if you focus your attention on affirming the things you're unhappy with, you'll keep feeding them and making them stronger.

The trick is to snap out of that destructive pattern - and focus on what you want to see!

So do it, take a step in that direction...

And I'm not sure if you're ready or open to this, but I recommend you go out and get (and read) this book - The Power of Intention, by Wayne Dyer. It could really help you get where you're going.

Be sure to let us know how it goes!

[Willow n Pa]

Hi
I so know how you feel. The thing is that no one got confidence and were all like n same boat. U gotta take a chance n sumtime you get lucky n it is all worth taking the chance. believe me we all feel the same, i shake like a leaf ever time i talk to any boy. What does help me is that i only talk to a boy when hes by hisself n not in a group.
good luck
Willow