How do i find the confidence?

[CasedLogic]

How do i find the confidence to ask a girl out?

I have known her for 3/4 years now, but have 'liked' her for the past 3 months or so, and have hung out with just her once.

I know from your great site what my problem is, that i fear rejection, so tryed to set myself the target of admitting i liked her by the end of the day, by the end of week... but i failed with this because i lack the confidence to just admit to liking her. Now i just feel like a failed coward, and talking to her is becoming harder - how can i convince myself to just do it?

[GreenTea]

omg man, I feel the exact same. Everyday I tell myself, you know what..fuck it, imma jus go for it..then when i have the chance when i see her alone in the halls or her locker..I change my mind and walk away. I am currently in the same situation as you man. A part of me is saying to go and try and expect rejection and to accept it cause it will happen in life..wide as well get it over with and another part is saying that rejection matters and you really want to be with this girl..its so hard and confusing. I hope things turn out well for you.

[SnakeBabe]

I have no idea what your girls will say but my feeling is if they have been friends with you two for a while and haven’t made it obvious they have a romantic desire for you then maybe that is a clue. You guys are not getting “vibes’ to move the relationship in this direction and as a result you are sensing the outcome of rejection.
Rejection is just that, rejection. No big deal. It doesn’t make you a worthless person. It’s just not the right girl or the right time. Perhaps you smoke cigarettes and she doesn’t.
Maybe it’s a religious difference. Some things can stop a girl dead in her desire for you. For example, smokers. I can be friends with a guy that smokes but no way do I want to be intimate with him. Cigarette breath, UGH! Total sexual turn off and if we lived together my house would smell like smoke. His energy level would be so much less than mine, etc…. So friends, yes but for a romantic relationship, no. See what I mean?

But, it’s really up to you and if you don’t ask you may never know. Just think the situation in advance, if they do reject you are you still interested in friendship? Will she be uncomfortable around you after? Lots to think of.
I have had many guys that I have friendly relationship with ask me but I can handle telling them no. usually, they can’t and after they never want to talk to me again.
Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

[Achlys101]

It took me getting locked in a media center at school by our friends before my b/f and I would even admit that we liked each other. Now its been five and half years and we are still going and happy (for the most part, see thread). The other poster is right, there are a lot of turn offs and if you don't see her trying to get closer to you or trying to make a move then she most likely isn't into you. But a lot of people don't see the signs or they don't know how to look for them.

All I can say is you don't know if you don't ask. Maybe it will take you getting locked in a small room by friends to get the courage to ask her.